Mix, Don't Blend: A Guide to Dating, Engagement, and Remarriage with Children

What if we could bring families together in a way that promotes individual growth and development, and that allows relationships to form according to the wants and needs of everybody involved? What if we created families not based on the idea that “one size fits all,” but that “all sizes fit”.

MIX, DON'T BLEND presents a radically different model of being blended families. It explains how we got to where we are, how our families work, and what we can do to create mixed families that can work for everybody involved. Your blended—or mixed—family will be healthier and happier as you introduce these personally and clinically tested ideas and strategies. Blended families are really nothing new. What is new are the rigid expectations we’ve had for how such families ought to work. We’ve tried forcing everybody into a model of family that developed about 50 years ago and that fit only a minority of American families even then. It certainly never fit blended families.

We’ve done a lot of damage to our blended families because of these unrealistic expectations. A good many of the divorces that plague our blended families are due to all the misunderstandings, miscues, and missed opportunities which these expectations create.

REVIEWS

“This is ground breaking and immensely helpful especially when you explode the myths of blended families which are killers.” ~ Rev. Howard Milkman, Ph.D., LCPC.

“I wish I had this book when my second husband and I married, creating a family of seven children, ages 6 to 18 at the time, two former spouses, and a complex array of new and former in-laws. This is the GPS for navigating the twisty, unfamiliar streets of life in a blended family. Ken and Tammy’s guidance, drawn from deep experience and decades of helping families, is an essential tool to help everyone in combined families survive, thrive, and enjoy the ride.” ~ Debbie Rissing

“Fascinating and inspiring! Sets the standard for blending families into a home filled with mutual respect and love. I am in awe of their example, and strive to be the kind of stepparents they are on a daily basis. They exemplify what a stepfamily should be.” ~ Suzanna M. Biasi

“It is obvious that the love, patience, and devotion you have always demonstrated in your parenting has made this idea for a book become a reality.” ~ Natalie, the youngest