Not My Monkey, Not My Circus: But Somehow I'm Still the Ringleader

Not My Monkey, Not My Circus: But Somehow I’m Still the Ringleader

One Woman’s Story of Resilience, Recovery, and Rising Again

How I Survived What Tried to Break Me

How are you still standing? That’s the question everyone asks Janice Barnes—and for good reason. From surviving multiple adoptions, childhood abuse, and emotional abandonment, to weathering divorce, betrayal, and heartbreak, Janice has lived through more trauma than most could ever imagine. But somehow… she’s still here.

Not My Monkey, Not My Circus is a raw, real, and remarkably uplifting collection of stories that trace Janice’s lifelong journey from being the "hidden baby" no one wanted to talk about, to the powerful, resilient woman who finally found—and used—her voice.

Told with wit, grit, and unshakable honesty, this book peels back the curtain on a life filled with chaos, control, heartbreak, and healing. You’ll meet the girl forced to play piano instead of guitar, the teen kicked out with a sleeping bag and a pillow, the young mom doing everything to break the cycle, and the woman who finally said, “No more.”

Through her collection of heartfelt and sometimes hilarious personal stories—from a hospital stay after drowning at camp to the unforgettable “Can I swallow the raisin now?” meditation—Janice shows us what it truly means to survive, to rebuild, and to find strength in the face of relentless adversity.

This book is not just a memoir—it’s a beacon of hope. A voice for those who’ve felt voiceless. A mirror for those trying to hold it together. And a message that says: You are not alone—and you can get through this.

Whether you’re dealing with loss, betrayal, burnout, or just life’s everyday chaos, Janice’s story will make you laugh, cry, and most of all, believe in your own resilience.

🌟 Testimonials / Endorsements:
1. "Raw. Real. Remarkable."

“I couldn’t put this book down. Every story hit me in the heart—some made me cry, others made me laugh out loud. Janice Barnes has a way of sharing the heaviest topics with grace and even humor. Her strength is contagious. I felt like she was telling my story too. This book reminded me that no matter what life throws at me, I can stand back up.”
— Michelle R., reader & survivor

2. "A voice for those who have been silenced."

“This book gave me permission to stop pretending everything is fine. Janice’s story helped me realize I’m not the only one who’s felt helpless, lost, or invisible. She’s been through things I can’t even imagine—and yet, she still shows up, still laughs, still loves. This book is a must-read for anyone who’s ever felt like giving up.”
— Erin L., single mom & reader

3. "Like sitting down with your fiercest, funniest, most badass friend."

“Reading this book felt like having coffee with a wise, sassy girlfriend who’s been through the fire and came out stronger. Janice’s stories are inspiring and deeply human, filled with vulnerability, strength, and just the right amount of ‘WTF?!’ Her message is clear: you can survive. You will survive. And even in the chaos, you’re allowed to laugh.”
— Tamara D., counselor & trauma support worker