Monster: A Poem by Jamie Hocking

As social media has become more ingrained in our everyday lives, our perception of ourselves and others has changed dramatically. We have spent so long looking at carefully curated versions of people that we have forgotten that there is more to the person than their persona. We've unfairly compared ourselves at our worst to these online personas at their best.

We've seen people rejected and ridiculed on a daily basis for being less than perfect. As a result many of us have tried to rid ourselves of the parts of us that we are afraid to share with the world. The ironic part is that our fear of being rejected by others leads us to reject core aspects of ourselves.

Monster was written after the author's late life diagnosis of autism and ADHD. These diagnoses helped the author rediscover who she is underneath all the masks and personas she had worn for so many years.

Monster is for everyone struggling to love and accept themselves just as they are - without the self-loathing, judgement and shame that comes along with being different. Monster guides the reader through the author's journey from self-loathing to full acceptance of every iteration of self - monsters and all.

Jamie Hocking is a former 'painfully shy, gifted kid' who found out - when she was 45 years old - that she is actually autistic with ADHD. Jamie is a prolific writer, but she has mostly kept her poems, journal entries and essays private. During her mid-twenties Jamie experienced a quarter-life crisis which rocked her world to the core. Disillusioned with the broken promises of the American dream, she began to journal and write the poetry that would help her through this tumultuous time which included a divorce, estrangement from family and friends, a move across the world, and a new marriage. During this quarter-life crisis, Jamie briefly shared her poetry online. Although her poetry was well received, her fears became too overwhelming, and she stopped sharing her poems. But she didn't stop writing. Writing was still crucial to Jamie's ability to cope with the ever-growing demands of life as she became a mother and entrepreneur in a new country. During a midlife crisis, when Jamie was diagnosed with Autism and ADHD, she turned to writing to help her process her diagnoses. In 2022 Jamie started a blog called Autism at Midlife (www.autismatmidlife.com) where she provides an unflinching look at her experiences, insights, personal stories and life lessons. In 2023 Jamie created a website for her poetry and she shares selected works at www.jamiehocking.com.