CHAPTER 1
Ready, Set, Go
On September 7, 2005, I experienced a life-changing event.I am not a born-again Christian per se, but I have beengiven a second chance at this game called life. On that day, I wasinvolved in a severe automobile collision when a car struck themotorcycle I was driving. I suffered numerous physical injuries,including seven broken ribs, a ruptured spleen, a bruised liver,a torn bowel, fourth cranial nerve damage, (hence the doublevision), and a bilateral pneumothorax, or two punctured lungs;however, the most dramatic and life-altering injury was the closed-headtraumatic brain injury (TBI) I received. I was unconsciousat the scene, so my number on the Glasgow Coma Scale from 3to 15 was simply a 3. (See the neuropsychological paraphrase inthe Appendix A.)
When looking at the severity of my injury, my mother-in-law,a board-certified doctor in urgent care, jokingly commented, "Byscoring that low, one simply shows up for the test, but no one ishome." Therefore, when one is a 3 on the Glasgow Coma Scale,one is simply alive! I was not breathing at the scene, but somehowI was still fighting or being safeguarded in a way. However havingan off duty paramedic at the accident site on other business andhim establishing an airway for me, enhances the reason for mysurvival! This again focuses me towards sharing this info withothers so they can find real direction in their life as it was thisinjury that started my life over again! In the early stages of myrecovery, I sent an e-mail to a select group of individuals whoseperspectives on my abilities and character gave me better clarityregarding the reality of who I was and how I acted.
Unfortunately my brain, like the hard drive of a computer,became fragmented, with all of the data disbursed throughoutit. In an attempt to rebuild the neural pathways that had becomemisdirected, I sent out the following email request to beginrebuilding the life that was taken away from me. I did this withhopes to adapt to the barriers & obstacles now placed before me.
"Just a quick note as I'm attempting to make a list of thingsother people like or find interesting in me. In an attempt tocreate a positive self-image, I will use this list whenever I'mfeeling down or whenever I hear critical voices in my headleading me down the negative path. Unfortunately theaccident I was involved in leaves me little characteristicsof myself that are self-assuring to me. I need to find myselfbefore and I find balance with others in my life.
I sent this list to those I want to hear from that representthe best-balanced group I had. Rest assured, I use theblind carbon copy BCC format so your e-mail addresswill not be forwarded.
Wayne
PS. I could ask each of you this question but having apaper copy of your comments gives me something to reflecton in times of need."
To my enlightenment, the responses I received were veryfulfilling, and even to this day, I reflect on them whenmoments of weakness arrive. This practice has helped me onmy journey as a brain injury survivor. In comparison to whatmy neurosurgeon indicated, injuries like this on outgoing andextroverted personalities such as mine, prove very challengingfor those individuals to handle. Unfortunately, that comparisonis difficult for these individuals to realize, and they mustdevelop new ways of life to achieve their desired outcomes. Inmy early discussions with the vocational counselor at the NovaScotia Rehabilitation Hospital, he gave me a new term to use.In my discussions with him, I often said that I now had to"react to certain situations." It was then that he said, "Insteadof the word react, use the word adapt. Instead of reacting toa situation, adapt and find a new way to formulate the endresult." This way of thinking provides a proactive approachto attaining the desired outcome, instead of a reaction tosomething that is outside of your control. Approaching life thisway provides you with personal ownership and accountabilityfor your actions, and it's more productive than reacting tothings outside of your influence. As a result of this revelation,the website www.always-adapt.com was born!
Several weeks into my recovery, I became aware of my situationand faced the reality of my injury. According to the Centers forDisease Control and Prevention,
Traumatic brain injury (TBI) is a serious public healthproblem in the United States. Each year, traumaticbrain injuries contribute to a substantial number ofdeaths and cases of permanent disability. Recent datashows that, on average, approximately 1.7 millionpeople sustain a traumatic brain injury annually.(http://www.cdc.gov/traumaticbraininjury/)
In my case, I too share this disability level. Fortunately for me,mine is a disability that has improved considerably over time. Itis this improvement that feeds the hope I have and the energy Iwould like to share with others by writing this book. Before webegin, you need to have an understanding of a few definitions.People like Anthony Robbins and Jim Rhone provide others withthe motivation to pursue a goal.
Recently I took a trip to Toronto, Ontario, to see Dr. WayneDyer at the "I Can Do It!" conference, and he revealed that heconsiders himself an inspirational speaker, not a motivationalone. It is my hope that by providing this information, I too canhelp people achieve their goals—not through motivation orinspiration but through determination. People can be motivatedor inspired to follow a path, but if they are not determined toachieve what they choose to do, they will fall short of thedesired outcome. Using motivational or inspirational toolsto achieve what you choose to do provides a solid foundationfor your energy source. This energy source follows the sameguidelines that the universe uses, as Esther Hicks points out inher book The Vortex. It is this law of attraction that respondsto everything!
Occasionally, as I look through the self-help folder Iestablished for myself, which contains the returned e-mails frommy previous thoughts I sent out to people, a response fromone individual stands out. He noted that, based on all of theinformation concerning my accident, I had been given another"opportunity to live this life." That e-mail in particular holdsa lot of value for me. All the other responses that came back tome identified certain features of my character; this was the oneresponse that stood out in terms of content. This response spokeof one's physical memory, the functioning of one's life, and theconduct of one's relationship with others.
The next level of memory assists in solving problems thatwe encounter from time to time, and of course the deeperlevels of memory are where we tap into ourselves and ask suchphilosophical questions as "Why am I here?" and "What is thepurpose of life?"
From his e-mail response, I quote the following:
Memory is not all in the mind or in the brain. As yougo through your exercises, you will come to appreciatethat it is in every cell of your body. Your blood cellsremember how to re-create themselves as blood cells,and your skin cells, bone cells, and muscle cellsoperate the same way. Your thoughts and experiencescreate the memories of who you are and pave the wayfor who you will become.
It is here that this gentleman refers to the fact that I have beengiven a whole new opportunity to play this game called life, createa whole new Wayne Gillis and build a new life unfettered by oldmemories.
However, he advises me,
Take time to go within to get in touch with yourinner subconscious, and keep in contact with yourangels and guides, as they are there to help you witheverything that you do. This in the eternal presentand know that you are exactly where you have to beon your journey through life.
Here we see an example of a religious belief (i.e., angels). Religiousbeliefs, like scientific ones, are arguably debatable. It is not myintent to debate beliefs or facts, however; it is my intent to identifythe singularity that exists within both themes. As the universewill decide on everything that it has created or that exists in itsrealm, my choice is to focus on the energy source that has createdeverything.
This energy source depends on what country you are born in, asit is defined by the people around you and the god of their choice.Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, and all other capital-R religions—eachrepresents organized faith and requires discipline to followthe guidelines determined by each. In Christianity, we see in theBible that God created man in his own image; however, it could beargued, with the multitude of religions available, that man createdGod in his image. It is this same focus, or style of energy, thatis displayed on the television show Long Island Medium, whichemphasizes the religious experience over the scientific route. Onthis show, the star of the series has the ability to communicate withpeople who have crossed over to the other side after death.
Once they have left the physical world they remain intact,and through her, they can communicate quite powerfully andspecifically to the person who engages this star's special gift.Addressing specific details that only the person being communicatedto would know eliminates any chance of her simply guessing thedetails of this or that event. With my personal views and withthis information watched on television, the spiritual belief gainssignificant weight in the religion/science debate. Religions differgeographically and the energy received from this gathering ofinformation is spiritual in nature. However, since most religionsshare a similar belief system, they reflect for me the `source energy'the universe has.
Again, people similar to Anthony Robbins, Jim Rhone, andZig Ziegler give people the motivation to pursue their dreams.From my own personal standpoint, and the past seven years of mylife, I understand intimately that you have to be motivated to dosomething and inspired to pursue that direction, but, ultimately,achieving a goal comes down to the individual's choice to do it.No matter how motivated you are, how inspired you become, orwhat scientific or religious beliefs you have, you must be personallydetermined to succeed! By adapting to what is delivered your way,you're no longer reacting; you are proactively redirecting yourfocus to attain the desired outcome.
Looking back, over the past seven years, at the barriers thatpresented themselves to me, my hope and determination to achievea desired outcome has always helped me maintain a positive outlooktowards my improvement. Like my neurosurgeon told me in adiscussion early on, it is not that people choose to plateau with theirrecovery. By having the upper cognitive ability to think and digestinformation, one can always keep the hope for improvement alive.I am very thankful that I do have the upper level of thought to fuelmy rehabilitation process and keep the slope positive! For me, I havealways held on to the hope, as it is this absolute that leads differentindividuals to achieve different results and levels of success.
What causes one individual with devastating lifestyle injuriesto heal better than someone else with similar injuries? If theperson has that cognitive option, it ultimately boils down to hisor her ability to choose to continue to recover. It is here—throughthis choice—that we see different levels of cognitive adaptation,ultimately determining what an individual is able to achieve. Nowbeing the active participant, instead of simply just the spectator,we have a choice. Since we technically only use 20 percent ofour brain, hopefully establishing new neural pathways to find asolution to the problem can be achieved. By choosing to `adapt' toan obstacle we can turn a `deficit' into a short term `deficiency' sothat by continuing to `Move Forward' we are still in the race!
* * *
Ultimately, we see that having the ability to make the choiceis the real difference. No matter how motivated you are or howinspired you become, the reality is that your ability to achieveyour goals boils down to your choice! I have learned that to makethis choice, you have to be determined to do so. According to Dr.Wayne Dyer's book Excuses Be Gone, one must choose, not excuse.On occasion, I say that to my wife—jokingly, of course!
As you gather information by reading books and hearinglectures, you start to transform your intellect into knowledge. Ibelieve that intellect plus knowledge equals wisdom. By seeingwhere I was and feeling where I am now, I truly believe that I am avery good representation of a determined person. You can look toAnthony Robbins for motivation, Dr. Wayne Dyer for inspiration,and Wayne Gillis for determination!
CHAPTER 2
Daily Activities
I believe that our daily activities are broken down based onour environment. Individually, if we are responsible only forourselves on an independent level, we foster selfish choices. Wemay consider other people's opinions when making choices,but fundamentally we act based on our own individual choice.When other people's opinions are involved in our choices (i.e.,in a romantic relationship or when dealing with children),the same choices are no longer selfish; they are of a selflessnature.
Up until my accident, I had successfully obtained severaljobs in which I performed well, but after a decade of being goodat a handful of jobs, I wanted to become very good at one thingor find a career. Because I was good with my hands, I thoughtI could attain a job relating to something mechanical—like amechanical engineer. On that note, and following my desire touse a scientific approach toward things, I went back to universityto earn a bachelor of science degree. This was the start for me inattaining my desired career as a mechanic of the human body—adoctor.
Participating in the academic environment that universityoffered, I took the basic science and math courses: chemistry,biology, physics, and calculus. Those are the fundamentalcourses required for a Bachelor of Science degree; however, Ineeded something to major in. My strong rapport in the physicsfield led me down that path; however, my weakness in mathproved disheartening. Growing up, I had a strong associationwith religious beliefs, and having this foundation of spiritualismreduced my scientific approach to education. This upbringingfostered a reduction in the scientific approach to life but did noteliminate it for me. However to better balance my universityexperience, I took courses like Philosophy and English.
However, after taking introductory psychology, I felt a betterbalance in my lifestyle equation. It was this course that changedmy direction and led me to a major in psychology. Psychology,unlike Philosophy and English courses, provided me with a betterunderstanding of the lifestyle game we all play. Understandingthe physical sciences like chemistry and biology gave me abetter understanding of our scientific nature. However addingpsychology to this equation gave me a more balanced approach tothe process of life and a healthier understanding of how the mindworks. At my university, a preset number of courses were neededto declare a major, in addition to a group of electives, as they werecalled. In an effort to find the lifestyle path I wanted to be on,I took a psychology course dedicated to the psychology of law.It was then that my lifestyle path changed once again—towarda future in law. My past roles in the financial industry gave mestrong verbal fluency, which supported my pursuit of becoming alitigator. Unfortunately, as I was actively involved in the processof completing my science degree, with hopes to eventually enterlaw school, my accident occurred.
While I returned to school, my wife supported my academicventure by working part-time. She made the choice to workpart-time because we were involved in raising a family whileI was going to school. Since her time was limited because ofher maternal role, her effort to support my academic journeywas limited too. On September 7, 2005, however, she received aphone call from the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, telling herthat her husband had been involved in motor-vehicle collisionand that she needed to get to the hospital as soon as she could.At that time, our youngest son was four months old. After shecollected her thoughts and prioritized her commitments, ourneighbor took her to the hospital. Making her way to the hospitalto verify my condition with her own eyes, she chose, as difficult asit was, to think positively about my situation, but she felt deflatedupon arriving at hospital. Once there, she was asked to wait ina designated family room to speak to the doctor responsible formy care.
