Notes to My Future Husband: A Bitch's Guide to Our Happily Ever After

Who is the Most Hilarious Bitch Around? Meet The Coquette, the insanely popular advice columist for The Daily. Smirking but never cynical, she's a bad-ass with her own ideas about what it means to be a wife and what it takes to be a husband. Notes to My Future Husband is a modern woman's collection of tips on life, love, and everything in between. Based on the blog named one of the funniest ever by the New York Observer, this book is perfect for any seriously awesome bithch-or the man who loves her. Cold Cuts: If we have ham and you leave less than three slices in the package, you should just stab me in my sleep. What am I supposed to do with less than three pieces of ham? Dry my tears? -Obey: The word that will be conspicuously missing from our wedding vows. -I promise: to never comment on your bad breath, as long as you don't come near me with bad breath. -We're going to make a lot of parenting mistakes: Let's not make putting leashes on our children when we go to the mall one of them. -Your job: I know I'm the 'free spirited one', but you're not allowed to be doing something that makes you miserable. Sorry. We'll f***'in live in a box, it's fine.…