The Once and Future, now.

You know those people who hold up signs telling us the end of the world is nigh?


Well, this time they might just be right.


It is said that when this world is in peril, King Arthur will awaken to save us all. So, when an evil god is returned from exile and his malignant allies begin to make their move you’d expect Arthur to be along pretty soon?


Wrong. In fact, he’s been back for ages but, after years of depression, anxiety and letting himself go, he’s living above a magical pub in the wilds of Wales, snacking excessively and online gaming. He’s still important though. When a prophecy call centre receives the information that the King is again needed to save the world, the starting pistol is fired. The forces of evil have to destroy him while Arthur’s allies need someone to find him, get him somewhere safe and understand what the hell is going on.


That someone doesn’t know he’s a someone, in fact he quite likes being a nobody. Caratacus Lewis is a spoiled, lazy, thirty-eight-year-old man-child who owns a second-hand bookshop in Twickenham and whose greatest ambition is to be left alone. He has absolutely no connection to myths, swords or magic and neither would he want one.
But unfortunately for Caratacus fate intervenes in the form of an immortal crime boss who forces him to find Arthur and get him to safety. This isn't easy when he has dark gods and armies of monsters wanting to find him and stop him breathing. Not to mention a magical, teenage, single-mother, killing machine called Cassie.


As Caratacus tries his best to avoid all this nastiness, The Once and Future, Now, takes us - amongst other places - to magical pub toilets, a burger van run by two goddesses and an underworld Karaoke bar. Why is Caratacus Lewis so important to the fate of this world? What do the urgently-delivered prophecies really mean and who is the guiding hand towards a final meeting between good and evil outside a fort that ups and disappears every forty-three hours...