Out of Mind - Out of Sight: Parenting with a Partner with Asperger Syndrome (ASD)

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RECOMMENDATIONS AND PRAISE FROM READERS
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“I just learned of your book [“Out of Sight—Out of Mind”] about parenting when your partner is on the Autism Spectrum. My wife and I are on the Spectrum as are our children. I train parents to more effectively collaborate and raise their children on the Spectrum. I’m repeatedly asked if there are any books on the very subject you’ve written on. Yours is the first I’ve heard about. I’ll gladly let my clients know about it.”

“Hands down the best book about parenting with an ASD spouse and having a mixed NT/ASD family.
Dr. Marshak speaks from her experience as well as her clients’, gives tips, clues, and science-backed truths as to why ASD people behave the way they do and how it influences their families. Trying to navigate this life is so hard. Dr. Kathy makes you feel seen and heard. Unless you walk these roads, you just cannot comprehend it.”
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Maddening, frightening, and unpredictable describe the life of a family when a member(s) has Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD). The NeuroTypical’s (NT) Empathy and the “Aspie’s” lack of Empathy are at the crux of this chaos, advises author Dr. Kathy Marshack, a longtime psychologist and prolific writer on Empathy, NeuroDiversity (ND), and NeuroDivergent relationships. “NeuroDiverse,” describes the unique workings of a brain that is different from those with typical neurological development or functioning; hence, the term, “NeuroTypical.”

An NT/ASD relationship mirrors dance partners who unintentionally step on each other’s toes. With instruction, the rhythm of their dance can shift. The author provides dozens of proven tips and tools that help achieve smoother footwork—as she learned from living with an ASD spouse, an ASD daughter, and an NT daughter. Since Empathy is not wired into the brain of someone with ASD, they are left feeling confused by irony, pretense, metaphor, and white lies. “Aspies” are unable to simultaneously know their feelings and sense another’s; hence, can’t know or see what to do or say next. Frustrating to NTs, “Aspies” live in the moment: If something is not forefront in their mind, it is essentially out of their sight. Their failure to recognize the importance of a smile, a hug, or a word of encouragement can generate a mountain of pain and loneliness for the NT.

Children of an ASD/NT couple may inherit or learn the traits of both parents and grow up feeling invisible, minimized, ignored, and unloved. “An NT/ASD couple,” emphasizes Dr. Marshack, “must take immense care to reinforce a child’s self-esteem while teaching them to love and be loved. It is a profound and not easy challenge.”

Dr. Marshack dispels preconceived notions about ASD. She opens eyes and hearts to see that an NT/ASD family’s roller-coaster ride—when slowed to ease the curves and jolts—can lead to positive transformation in relationships.
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This, the #2 book, #3 and #5, “When Empathy Fails” and “Empathy Is More Than Words,” are available as paperbacks and eBooks. #1 book, “Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome: Going Over the Edge? Practical Steps to Saving You and Your Relationship,” is available in print. #4 in the series, “‘Asperger Syndrome’ and Relationships: Everything You Need to Survive a NeuroDivergent Life,” is available as an eBook.
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Dr. Marshack offers extensive resources to help NeuroDivergent couples and others impacted by Empathy Dysfunction manage their relationships. That collection includes her innovative on-demand video course, “‘ASPERGER SYNDROME’ & Relationships: Life with an Adult on the Autism Spectrum,” available at: http://www.asd-ntrelationships.com/courses.

Kathy J. Marshack, Ph.D., P.S., is a licensed psychologist with more than 33 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist and business coach. Dr. Marshack's first book on Asperger Syndrome, Going Over the Edge? Life with a Partner or Spouse with Asperger Syndrome, was published in 2009. After its release, she was overwhelmed by the response of readers from around the world, who felt alone and misunderstood navigating innately complex relationships with loved ones with Asperger Syndrome. In response, Dr. Marshack organized the international Meetup group, Asperger Syndrome: Partners & Family of Adults with ASD, which gives members the opportunity to offer support via the online forum or in-person meetings. She also blogs regularly about Asperger relationships and plans to offer webinars, so that more people can get the education and support they need. In addition to working with those who have Asperger Syndrome, Dr. Marshack helps clients with a wide range of issues. Her expertise includes: depression, marital counseling, high-conflict divorce, codependency and adoptive family issues. She is also considered a national expert on families in business, having authored a "Families in Business" column and the book, Entrepreneurial Couples: Making It at Work and at Home. Dr. Marshack and her books have been featured in articles in dozens of publications, including the Boston Globe, Kiplinger's, The New York Times, The San Francisco Examiner, Smart Money Magazine, Inc. Magazine, USA Today and Business Week. She is frequently profiled by national and local media - such as CNN, The Lifetime Channel and National Public Radio. She was also a contributor to the nationally acclaimed book, Sixty Things to Do When You Turn Sixty. Dr. Marshack's credentials include a Bachelor of Science Degree in Psychology from Portland State University in Oregon, a Master's Degree in Social Work from the University of Hawaii in Hawaii, and a Doctorate in Psychology from the Fielding Institute in California. She is a Certified Practitioner of Neurolinguistic Programming, Ericksonian Hypnosis, Thought Field Therapy and NET (Neuro-Emotional Technique). She resides by the beautiful Columbia River in Vancouver, Washington and has an office there as well as a satellite office in Portland, Oregon.