Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On: A Twelve Step Guide To Divorce Recovery

For 20 million Americans the long process of healing after devastation of divorce began with a single step. Most found their way alone, making mistakes and trying to reinvent their lives through trial and error. Now, borrowing the wisdom gained in the development of 12 Steps Programs, Getting Up, Getting Over, Getting On offers learned and proven support. Author Micki McWade adapts the best techniques, information and life lessons of long established recovery programs to provide a concise and comprehensive pathway to fulfilling life after divorce. Whether during the painful days of the divorce itself or in the adaptive weeks and months that follow, McWade offers valuable ideas that work in relationship with children and (ex) spouses. Readers are also provided with step-by-step encouragement and guidance for forming their own divorce support groups.

I wrote this book to share the wisdom I originally gained in Al-Anon and from facilitating a Twelve Step Divorce Recovery Group for nine years. Having practiced the Twelve Steps in daily life, I realized they can be applied to divorce as well as addiction and were immensely helpful to me and to everyone who used them. The Twelve Steps were a roadmap for me as I navigated my way through my own divorce. I wanted to divorce differently from the war stories I had heard. Four children were between us and we owed it to them to be good co-parents. There were few examples of a 'good divorce' for me to follow so I used the familiar Twelve Step tools to guide me. For example, I was powerless over others but have power in my own life; when overwhelmed, take it a day at a time; and to be grateful for what is good in my life. Friends often commented on how sensible our divorce was. It wasn't easy but we avoided doing further damage to our relationship. We had to maintain decency for the sake of the many times we would be together in the future. I am remarried, live in Garrison, New York and work as a writer, psychotherapist and Collaborative Divorce Coach. I also help people establish Twelve Step Divorce Recovery groups. My books include Daily Meditations for Surviving a Breakup, Separation or Divorce, Healing You, Healing Me: A Divorce Group Leaders Guide and Moving Towards Mastery in Collaborative Divorce.