Overcoming Perfectionism: Finding the Key to Balance and Self-Acceptance

Anything worth doing is worth doing well. Practice makes perfect. Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing. Failure is not an option. In today's perfection-obsessed culture, these are the maxims we live by. Yet, the damage that they cause is stifling. Renowned author and pioneer of codependency treatment Ann W. Smith knows this first hand. Smith has dealt with her fair share of perfectionism and has bared witness to this all too common phenomenon in her professional life, having spent the last thirty years studying the impact compulsive disorders have on individuals and family. While perfectionism lacks much of the stigma attached to today's most common compulsions—smoking, gambling, sex addiction, alcoholism, and drug abuse—many of the negative connotations on self and the family system are the same.
 
Psychological and physical implications include:

• Headaches
• Isolation
• Anxiety attacks
• Fear of failure
• Sleep disturbances
• Digestive problems
• Back pain
• Overeating
• Sexual dysfunction
• Depression
• Suicidal thoughts or tendencies
• An inability to establish proper boundaries
• Overly critical of others
• The need to be in control
• Excessive guilt and shame

In this revised and updated edition of the original, groundbreaking book Overcoming Perfectionism: The Key to a Balanced Recovery, Smith describes the key differences between overt and covert perfectionism; the role early attachment, temperament, sibling relationships, and life circumstances play in developing this pattern; and how to shift toward a center of balance for a more fulfilling life.

Readers will learn how to identify and confront the root cause of their problem, how to reveal and accept their essence, and finally, they will learn the importance of forgiveness and letting go. Additionally, readers discover the key characteristics of a healthy family system, along with the single most important lesson of all—perfection does not exist.

Ann W. Smith MS, LMFT, is a nationally recognized leader and expert in the field of codependency, frequently presenting at major conferences throughout the U.S., Canada, and Finland. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, she has spent nearly thirty years researching the impact compulsive disorders have on individuals and family systems. Ann is also the director of Breakthrough at Caron—a program she designed for Caron Treatment Centers aimed at helping adults shift destructive life patterns, improve relationships, and foster personal growth. Ann's professional experience has landed her interviews with National Public Radio, Newsweek, Us Magazine, Redbook, U.S. News and World Report, Philadelphia magazine, Washington Post, Forbes Women, Wall Street Journal, and numerous other newspapers, magazines, and radio and TV programs across the U.S. Currently, she is a regular contributor to Psychology Today's website through her popular blog, Healthy Connections, with over 200,000 views to date. Ann has also authored Grandchildren of Alcoholics: Another Generation of Co-dependency. To learn more about Ann visit annsmith.com or breakthroughatcaron.org.