WE ARE UNABLE TO KNOW THE ACTUAL MEANING OF LIFE UNTIL WE FIND THE ACTUAL MEANING OF DEATH. ONLY TAKING A BIRTH IS NOT ENOUGH. WE SHOULD RISE AFTER DEATH ! ONLY THEN WE COULD FIND THE MEANING OF LIFE. I TRIED TO FACE DEATH THREE TIMES, BUT CAUGHT WITH A SPECIFIC SCENE EVERY TIME . I LOST MY SENSES, FELT LIKE WHELMED WITH WATER IN MY HEAD, AS I CAN'T EVEN BREATH YET CAN'T STEP OUT. AS I'M TRYING TO RISE AND SOMEBODY IS PULLING MY LEG DOWN, SURROUNDED WITH BLACKISH GREEN... GOING DEEP AND DEEP AND DEEP...... THAT'S TRUE. WE CAN'T KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFE UNTIL WE PAY FOR IT. I HAVEN'T FACED A SITUATION LIKE THIS YET. NOT UNDERGONE A TERRIBLE DISTRESS YET TO ATTEMPT A SUICIDE. THEN, DO I KNOW THE IMPORTANCE OF LIFE CAN I SAY YES I'M AWARE OF IT HOW MY MEDITATION WORKS BY READING AND INTERPRETATING 'CLASSIC' LITERATURE. ! TAKING AN EVENING WALK WITH THE COLD BREEZES IN THE AIR.... COFFEE AND DISCUSSIONS ON THE CHARACTERS OF A RECENT BOOK WE READ....TRYING NOT TO HURT ANYONE....!! IS LIFE THIS SIMPLE NOT AT ALL....... मरणाचा अर्थ समजेपर्यंत जीवन समजत नाही. केवळ जन्मणं त्यासाठी पुरेसं नाही. मरून जन्माला आलं पाहिजे. त्यानंतरच जीवनाचा खरा अर्थ समजतो. तीन वेळा मरायचा प्रयत्न केला, तरी विशिष्ट प्रकारचाच अनुभव आला. शुद्ध गेल्यासारखं - डोक्यात पाणी भरल्यासारखं - श्वास कोंडून जीव गुदमरत असतानाही पाण्याबाहेर यायला जमू नये, तसं. चढायला धडपडत असताना कुणी तरी पुन्हा गर्तेत लोटून द्यावं, तसं. भोवताली काळपट हिरवेपणा भरून राहावा ... खोल बुडत जावं ... खरंय् हे. मरण समजल्याशिवाय जीवनाची विं�मत समजत नाही. मला असा अनुभव कधीच आला नाही. आत्महत्या करावी. इतकं उत्कट दु खही कधी आयुष्यात जाणवलं नाही. मग मला जीवनाची किंमत ठाऊक आहे काय? ठाऊक आहे, असं म्हणता येईल काय? माझं चिंतन कशा प्रकारे चालतं? साहित्य वाचणं - ते 'क्लासिक' आहे, याची काळजी घेत! पुस्तकं विकत घेणं, संध्याकाळच्या थंड सुखद हवेत फिरून येणं ... उत्तम कॉफीचे घुटके घेत साहित्यातील पात्रांवर आणि प्रसंगांवर चिंतन करणं, प्रत्यक्ष आयुष्यात शक्यतो कुणालाही न दुखवता जगत राहणं! जीवन म्हणजे एवढंच? अंहं ...

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