As a former athlete unable to express himself the way he wanted to, Adriel found comfort in expressing his love, his pain and the passion he has for basketball and for life through his poetry. "Pen to Paper: A Transfer of Emotions" is the manifestation of Adriel's passion for life, love and basketball. In college and throughout his life, he was a shoulder to many of his family and friends' deepest and darkest secrets. Unable to tell others of the problems he faced and the struggles of people who had confided in him, he learned to put his pen to paper and a book was born. A deep look into a man's soul who so desperately wanted to heal himself and those who would seek his advice, Adriel began to search deep into his heart and soul to express those feelings for others. Pen to Paper is a book that will show you tears of joy, laughter and pain until the game is over.

PEN TO PAPER

A TRANSFER OF EMOTIONSBy ADRIEL T. DAVIS

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Adriel T. Davis
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4520-3325-9

Chapter One

    This is Me

    This is me
    And if you looking at pics
    And that is all you can see
    You seeing a mirage
    Because it ain't me
    Judge me
    Tell me you like me
    Judge me till you hate me
    But your comments will not make me
    They won't break me
    Cause this is me
    Talk to me
    Talk about me
    Spread the hate
    Save the date
    Judge me as you may
    It is your call if you plan to stay
    I am more than the eye can see
    So if you don't like
    My advice
    Let me be.


    When the Smoke Clears

    When the smoke clears, I would have overcome all my fears
    I am sure I would have caused some to shed tears
    But judge me not for my past, but for what I am doing now
    Give me a chance, and you will see a change
    Give me the lead, and I will lead us away
    Away from the problems of the past
    I am sure things will never be the same
    That just means that things have a chance to be better than before
    Escape away from your worries and let's be free.
    Turn away the clouds
    Bask in the joy of the sun
    Run away and never look back
    Just forward motions
    To a new place
    And as the smoke clears, all we see in site is each other.


    Imperfection

    I am sorry for what I have become
    But I am not sorry for what it will make me.
    I am not perfect and I will never be
    I will only strive for perfection
    Judge me not for where I was
    Judge me by where I have been and where I am going
    Perfection would make me less than human
    My imperfection helps me become better than human
    So if you are looking for imperfection
    Search within me, but while searching you
    will see how perfect life can be.
    Just focus on the faith within your heart
    And within your imperfections will lay your perfections


    Up, Up and Away

    I am going up, up and away
    Stop trying to hate
    Because this is not the place for me to stay
    I done paid my dues
    I have all the clues
    And for all my life I have remained true.
    So open your mind
    Get out of sight
    And keep hate
    It aids me in my fight
    So as I cruise through Life,
    Doing this and doing that
    I got another job for you
    Keep watching as I make these moves
    Keep asking me how I do what I do
    And when I am at the top
    And looking down from there
    I still won't look down at you
    Just will look down because you
    Still there
    So take this advance notice
    And understand
    That I will rest when I die
    But for now I got to make moves
    Like my life depended on it


    This Canvas

    When I started this canvas was blank
    Just like my thoughts
    Just like my heart
    But as I sit here and write
    I start to gain sight
    Of what I used to be
    What I want to be
    I am just trying to cover
    The thoughts
    Of what I use to be
    When I was missing the kissing
    When I was there
    When no one else was
    I am not in a race
    I am on a journey
    Searching
    Seeking
    Learning
    Growing
    So as this canvas is filled with words
    That turns into sentences
    That leads to a paragraph
    Which becomes a page
    Which grows into a book
    That will tell the stories
    Of my life
    Maybe of yours

    Maybe it will make sense
    Maybe it won't
    But as these words fill
    This Canvas
    They also empty out my soul
    On to
    This Canvas


    Somehow, I managed

    Somehow, I managed to ruin it all
    Somehow, I managed to let you go
    Somehow, I managed to think about you even after I let go
    Somehow, I managed to settle for self pity
    Somehow, I managed to feel like a helpless kitty
    Somehow, I managed to allow myself to get weak
    Somehow, I got lost and it made me not want to sleep
    Somehow, I managed to stop dreaming and only have nightmares
    Somehow, I started living like I was scared
    Somehow, I got trapped in my own self miseries
    Somehow, I got to manage to get out
    But one thing's for sure
    I am the only one to blame
    I had a way out
    But I couldn't bare the shame
    Of hurting another
    So I hurt myself
    I somehow sit here as a prisoner in my own home
    In my own Mind
    In my own Heart
    Somehow, I will manage


    Footsteps

    I hear footsteps from my past
    I been running for years
    And now I am running out of gas
    But it is my past
    And that is where I wanted to leave it
    What did I do wrong?
    I wanted it to stay in the past so I can get past it
    I wanted to be in the present, because it is a gift
    I wanted to make a future, because there is so few
    I see the footsteps of the past
    And I left them there
    But the imprint of the past is what I see
    It has followed me
    I kept going forward
    And I didn't make the U turn
    Because I felt like I hadn't reached my destination
    But was my destiny to turn around
    But then I would be reprinting my footsteps
    So as I keep stepping forward
    I am trying to step out of my past
    And my past is stepping on me
    How can you be caught in two places at one time?
    How can your past outrun you?
    As these footsteps approach me
    The only way to avoid footsteps is
    To not look back, and see only what is in front of you.


    Learning

    I am learning the hard way
    It took a few times to get burned
    But what is a cause without an effect
    So yes the things that I have learned have affected me
    But what you won't see, is how they have made me better
    I have learned to work hard and quiet
    I have learned to love without cause
    I have learned to sometimes pause
    Learning has taught me
    Learning has caught me
    And fought me
    But it has allowed me to not give up
    I am embracing it
    I am facing it
    I know I won't give up
    Learning has helped me laugh and to cry
    But in the end I am still learning
    Learning from me, learning from you
    Trying to learn how to shine
    Without losing my mind
    I know while learning
    My time will come
    To embrace the theory of learning
    So as I sit back and learn
    I will learn to enjoy life


    Featherless Bird

    Don't judge me because I don't have feathers
    I still can fly, and I still like to sit on a limb and sing songs
    I know it's wrong that I don't fit in
    But again, now a days what does fitting in really mean
    Let me go about without my feathers and be just as graceful
    Let me soar the sky and if I feel the need leave me alone and let me cry
    I am just like any other bird, I still breathe
    I still fly; I still soar in the sky
    I won't try and be like the other birds
    Because they are who they are and I am what I am
    So as my feathers don't exist
    The pain of not having them does
    So don't judge me based on my feathers
    Judge me on being a bird
    Because at the end of the day
    I will be just as they are
    I am
    A Featherless Bird


    This Dream

    I almost died the other day,
    But before my last breath.
    I had a flashback.
    I have seen the smile on my mom's face as I walked the stage.
    I felt the pain, as you shed tears from the pain of love.
    I have seen how you needed me when you lost a loved one.
    I seen the joy in my brother's eye, when he heard I was moving near.
    I have seen this dream of life being taken away.
    Then I realized that it was not life being taken away,
    But it was those moments of breathtaking,
    They were the events that gave me life.
    So This Dream, is not one of my last breath
    It's about the moments that took my breath away.
    So if it's my last breath, then I will keep This Dream.


    Building Walls

    I am building this photo and what I see is me,
    and behind me is the sun setting on the beach
    I am building this dream and in the dream I see me smiling,
    me laughing and my heart complete
    I am building this sense of hope, that one day I can see beyond my past
    I am building this house so I can I fill it with
    memories of you me and you
    I am building these thoughts so I can think of where we should be
    I am building these things for us
    I am building these feelings so I can give them to you
    I am building these walls to protect myself
    from the pain that building, the other things bring


    I'm No Crook

    I walk around with my hands in my pocket, but I am no crook.
    I have dealt so much in my life, I could write a book.
    Looking over my past, you can think I am joke
    But keep in mind I am a lot smarter then I look.

    I am aware of my wrong that is why my poetry is like a song.
    I write these lines, to apologize for the times.
    So you ask me where my heart is and where are my emotions
    I express them every day, I just don't show 'em

    I walk around with a bulletproof heart,
    Cause I avoid the pain before it starts.
    I decided to take my dreams,
    And make them a reality.

    I walk around with my head to the sky,
    You might wanna keep looking there
    Cause that's where you will find me.

    Some say I am scheming
    Ask me, and I will say I am dreaming.
    I am beyond the game.
    Time to step up and put the haters to shame.


    Pain

    The pain in my heart has seeped into my soul.
    I have sat around so long I have nothing else to hold.
    Every day the pain only gets deeper as I think of you.
    I know that hate is pain and pain is hate.
    But in the midst of all the pain all I know is hate.
    I want to move on, but the pain won't let me.
    I want to stay, but the pain won't let me.
    So I am stuck in a pool of pain with no one to save me.
    So as this pain seeps into my soul.
    I only have you to blame for the pain that has reached my soul.


    The Rebirth

    I had nothing, at First
    I didn't even have the sound of my own breath
    Day to day I was lonely
    Until I saw a glimpse of you.

    There was a sparkle in your eye
    I thought I had lost all that feeling
    But somehow you reached out and touched me and my heartfelt it
    You were that Friend.

    I couldn't hide the magic we shared
    And all the issues of the past, were released from my torn heart
    All the walls would suddenly disappeared
    The Rebirth: My heart has found life again.

    The day you came into my life
    I would realize that I still had life within me.
    That moment was the moment
    Of The Rebirth: My heart has found life again.


    Life through my Bloodshot Eyes

    Life through my bloodshot eyes
    Would scare you to death,
    The pain, the passion, the love
    And never a moment of rest
    I want fun and games
    But I want to treasure you like gold
    Cuz I realize that you could mean the world to me
    N my eyes I want to see well,
    But mock my words when I say
    My heart will either love you or hate you
    Until my destiny comes to light
    I will just look at life through my bloodshot eyes


    Crazy Mixed Up World

    In this world we have 2 ways to go!
    That is up or down
    In this world you have to be able to show!
    That is to show what you done and what you worth

    I think to myself why life is this way.
    Why must we have to prove our way through life?
    When we say that we have strife, through good and bad
    That we have helped a friend when they are sad.

    That should be enough, but it's not.
    We must document what we do, cause if we don't its forgotten in the
    blink of eye.
    It's not treasured until we die
    And it's lost when we lie.

    Too much is put in and not enough is given back.
    I want to be free and cut a little slack.
    I don't want it cause I am black.
    I want it cause I earned that right!
    But it will not happen cause it's a crazy mixed up world.


    Last Stone Unturned

    I am the last man standing and all I got to say is that a battle is over.
    I was at war and no one was on my side, so I had to watch my back.
    I was on edge at all times, taking no prisoners.
    Then I realized I killed the one I loved in the line of fire.

    There was no guns, no knives, just the weapon of harsh words in the
    heat of the moment and now I realize that the battle that I thought I
    had won.

    Was the battle I really lost ................ And I am the
    LASTSTONEUNTURNED.

    Now I am lying around waiting for my love to turn over that
    LASTSTONEUNTURNED


    Lost For Words

    I am lost in my own world
    I am trapped in a place where I am supposed to be safe
    I am lost and confused
    I have nowhere to go
    I have no one to turn to
    I have to make a change
    When will this stop?
    When will I be free?
    When can my prayers be answered?
    I am trapped in my own world
    I have no way to escape
    When does this feeling stop
    When will I stop being lost for words?


    New Light

    This is a new year.
    This is a new beginning.
    This is a NEW LIGHT

    The NEW LIGHT will SHINE.
    The NEW LIGHT will bring me JOY.
    The NEW LIGHT will be seen in my EYES.
    This is a new year.
    One without FEAR, PAIN, or SHAME.
    This is a new beginning.
    One that will put an end to the old
    And the start of a BRIGHTER FUTURE.
    This is a NEW LIGHT.
    One that will SHINE WITHIN MY SOUL.
    LET MY NEW LIGHT SHINE BRIGHT AS THE SUN!


    When it's Gone

    In a flash
    It was there
    In a flash
    It was gone
    The fame, the glory
    The friends, the fans
    At one point he was the Man
    But just as the sun rise
    He rose
    But just as the sun falls
    He fell
    So enjoy the lights as they flash
    Because one day the lights will become dim
    And the only thing left will be
    The sparkle in your eyes
    That should never die
    Because that is last shining light
    In a room full of Darkness.


    My First Step

    One day, one step
    One day I need to take a step
    But the step was right there, yet too far
    I think and thought
    That if I miss this step
    Will I fall?
    I can't fail
    Who can I ask or who can I tell
    Only one thing to do
    Either be the hero or the goat.
    I have too much to lose
    And I have lost so much
    Oh my, what is that Touch
    Is it what I think it is?
    Could it be her?
    Maybe it is, or maybe it's not.
    One
    Two
    Three
    I am taking the step
    To allow myself to be free
    I finally did it
    I found Love
    And it happened
    When I took
    My first step


    Only God

    When I was down.
    Who was there for me?
    Only God.
    When I was lost in the world, without a friend
    Who lifted my spirit?
    Only God.

    When I was in love, and I was not being loved back
    Who was there for me?
    Only God.
    When life seemed to deal me nothing but blanks.
    Who brought sunshine to my day?
    Only God.
    When I kneel and pray for things to get better.
    Who always answers?
    Only God.

    When I have no friend, no one to love me.
    Who can I turn to, to let me know he is there with me?
    Only God.


    Pleaze

    Win dew wee, Stop this madnez.
    Win dew wee, Realize that Life on Earth iz da Path to HEAVEN.
    The path wee take, the roads wee make are all part of the game.
    The struggle is only a test.
    The hurdles must be run at your best.
    Yes, wee can Rest.
    Win you ask.
    Win you get on your kneez and ask GOD,
    to FORGIVE.... OH PLEAZE.
    I no it's hard,
    And wee all not always dealt the right Cards.
    Just keep one thing in MIND
    That GOD blesses all who are KIND.
    Just get on dem kneez and just ask GOD "PLEAZE, PLEAZE"


    Struggling

    I am struggling to get loose
    I am fighting for a new beginning
    I want to start with a happy ending
    An ending to start a new time
    Sometime to be free
    Sometime to be me
    I am struggling to get that "gold"
    That "star" to make my heart whole.
    My only struggle is within me,
    My hardest problem, I cannot see.
    These days are "sunny"
    And full of light
    To get what I want, would be tight.
    To make her happy,
    For me to get the same. Love from the heart,
    Should have no shame.


    Survival

    My mind and body, yearn to succeed
    My soul is full of that need.
    The need to be nothing but the best
    Trying to outdo the rest.
    What makes me unique is my DRIVE,
    What DRIVE, the one that keeps me ALIVE.
    I have suffered more than you think,
    I am running right pass you every time you blink.
    So beware, cause if you don't care
    Then I'll be on top, while you sit down there and stare.


    Tears of Rain

    These drops of Rain
    Have kept me Sane.
    This world is wearing on my Brain.
    I feel the Pain,
    I know the shame.
    Lost in the Game
    Stuck in Fame.
    Although you see the Rain,
    Do you feel my Pain?
    As the Rain falls, whom can I call?
    Only one Answer and his name is GOD.

(Continues...)

Excerpted from PEN TO PAPERby ADRIEL T. DAVIS Copyright © 2012 by Adriel T. Davis. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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