Perfect Pain

Parham Parastaran was the epitome of the American Dream. After fleeing Iran as a child, he had built the perfect life for himself: a multi-million-dollar business, his dream home, a loving wife, and three beautiful children all while nursing a secret. Normal days at the office or home are punctuated by seven-hour showers, faked business trips, and the constant fear of discovery. Until one morning when he wakes up to his wife s horrified face and realizes he is passed out face up on his bar, stark naked, surrounded by glass and traces of fine white powder. Rehab seems like the obvious option, but Parham isn t biting. He knows this goes deeper than the substances he is pouring into his body fleeing Iran by train in the middle of the night, being moved again and again, and the crush of poverty. So Parham, the king of bluster and grandiosity, signs himself up for psychoanalysis. An hour alone every week in a room with a strange man, Dr. Jeckel. What follows is the hopeful memoir of a man searching to find his most authentic self. This is the story of becoming reacquainted with yourself when your childhood is smeared by trauma, of being willing to open the darkest doors and look inside, of the joy that comes when you recognize that nothing was enough, but you are enough, and the moral imperative we all have to know ourselves.

Parham Parastaran is an Iranian American who moved to America suddenly during the Iranian Revolution when he was nine. He is a graduate of the University of Illinois, and successfully owned and operated a chain of tire and auto stores until their sale in 2017. He is now a community leader and a philanthropist, and has begun working on a new tech venture. He and his wife, Jennifer, have three daughters and live in Champaign, Illinois.