How to Be Perfect: A Treasury of Tips from the Vicarage Goddess

Book by Monarch Publishing

This droll, oh-so-British guide pokes fun at women's self-help books by claiming to offer everything they need to be perfect—not just better, but perfect—in one volume. Fox, a novelist and vicar's wife, takes readers from the kitchen (where she discusses "the eschatological implications of the refrigerator") to the sitting room and bathroom: pilfering shampoos from hotels is fine, she says, but pilfering other people's pilfered little shampoos is bad form. Fox also helps readers de-clutter the bedroom by recommending the Order, Toss and Slam system for closet storage. For compassionate reasons, she eschews dusting (children raised in sterile environments are more likely to get asthma) and window cleaning (innocent birds have been known to fly into spotless windows.) The book's second section, on having the perfect body, is even funnier than the first, though the cartoons aren't as clever as the text.
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