A Pity Party Is Still a Party: A Feel-Good Guide to Feeling Bad

Most of us try to avoid feeling sad, but in this candid, comical, and deeply-felt book, therapist Chelsea Harvey Garner doesn’t just argue that the future will be brighter if we learn to enjoy the unenjoyable and support each other when the vibes aren’t so good, she also shows us how.

What if all the advice we’ve received about “looking on the bright side” is wrong? What if sadness is actually the key to happiness, and can even be . . . fun? Garner is here to make that case. In this feel-good guide to feeling bad, she claims it’s not enough for us to tolerate hard feelings. We need to embrace them. We need to let them show by crying with others. Often. In public.

Playful, at times irreverent, but always sincere, Garner is the grown-up Miss Frizzle for the therapy generation. She believes that if we want to build a world where mental health is the norm, we have to lean into connection and count on each other, even—and perhaps especially—at our worst.

Through anecdotes about her own hardships and insights gained in her clinical practice, Garner illuminates the power (and embarrassment) of opening up. Featuring solo exercises, group activities, and journal prompts alongside personal essays, she invites us to see emotions in a new light and engage with them in a healthier way. A Pity Party is Still a Party helps us find the silver lining, but only after we’ve played in the rain.

This guide to feeling better by feeling bad offers a radical toolkit for our times:

• Toxic Positivity: A powerful takedown of the “good vibes only” culture, arguing that embracing sadness is the true key to happiness.
• Rituals for Real Life: Creative, accessible, and sometimes irreverent group activities and solo exercises (like the Agony Altar and Cry Diary) to help you process hard feelings.
• Building Better Boundaries: Learn how to say no, manage resentment, and build healthier, more honest relationships without the guilt.
• Radical Self-Compassion: Move past shame and self-criticism with journal prompts and personal essays from a therapist who’s been there.
• The Art of Connection: Discover why we need each other more than ever and how to show up for your people—and let them show up for you—when things get tough.

Chelsea Harvey Garner is a writer, psychotherapist, and director of Big Feels Lab, a nonprofit that promotes collective mental health. In her clinical practice, she specializes in helping misfits, survivors, and unconventional families reclaim a sense of dignity and connect with one another more deeply. When not working, she can be found starting dance parties in public and hosting cuddle puddles at her home in NYC.