Positively Conflicted: Engaging with Courage, Compassion, and Wisdom in a Combative World

Most of us have a messy relationship with conflict. When confronted with it, our fight-or-flight response kicks in and we either rush into battle or back away. By defaulting to one of these options, however, we risk damaging ties to people we care about, opening ourselves up to future retaliation, or allowing resentments to fester.

Positively Conflicted invites us to reexamine our instinctive and often destructive reactions to conflict. With decades of experience in mediation, Sam Ardery doesn’t offer advice on how to win every fight, nor does he promise a one-size-fits-all solution to complex issues that defy them. Instead, he presents a different perspective—one that enables us to engage with conflict in novel and courageous ways. Readers will learn to ...

• Reconsider preconceived notions about fairness
• Listen—really listen
• Respond in counterintuitive ways
• Self-advocate without being combative

Full of stories from the author’s own life and the mediations he’s facilitated, Positively Conflicted shows us how conflict can be productive—even nourishing—when approached with curiosity, kindness, and openness.

Sam Ardery lives in the Midwest with his wife, Patty, and their Boston terrier, Ernie Pyle. Their house backs up to an elementary schoolyard that allows them to enjoy the playful sounds of children each day. A partner in the law firm Bunger & Robertson, Sam has mediated more than four thousand disputes and teaches negotiation at the Indiana University School of Law. He consults nationwide. Sam can be reached via his website, www.samardery.com.