The Princess Witch: Or, It Isn't As Easy To Go Crazy As You Might Think

I must finally have gone over the edge to totally batshit crazy. There could be no other explanation. No other explanation for why the cannibal warlock Hamatsa's procurer of bodies, the svelte seductress Kinqalatlala, stood before me with her razor-sharp hand stabbed through my chest while her tongue pushed into my mouth. No other explanation for why I stood frozen in shock while blood streamed down my legs. My blood. No other explanation for why my girlfriend Jean lay unmoving and unconscious on the pavement. No other explanation for why a tall naked muscular Amazonian goddess with glowing crystalline blue skin and only one eye and one breast let out a screech that threatened to burst my head.

Well, wait. There could be one other explanation. I could be dead. I couldn't discount the possibility that I might be a new resident in the spirit world. Crazy or dead. This day was not going well.

Michael Ostrogorsky is a parrot, word, and coffee bean wrangler living in Seattle, with his two parrots, the Hyacinth Macaw Princess Tara, who really is a princess, as well as a witch (but in a good way), and the Blue and Gold Macaw Aboo. Like the protagonist in this story, Michael boasts two Ph.D.s, in History and Archaeology, is retired from an academic career, and currently roasts coffee.