A Private Family Matter: A Memoir

A spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence recounts his upbringing in the shadow of a father who abused the author, his mother, and his siblings, discussing the writer's work as an activist, his recommendations for community intervention, and his struggles with his own anger. 30,000 first printing.

Rivers's childhood toy, a broken GI Joe action figure, spoke only one phrase: "I've got a tough assignment." The author, an advocate against domestic violence, took on this motto early in life to help himself endure the "war zone" of his upbringing. His story starts in Cuba, where his mother's "gift of sight" didn't help her see through the seductive elegance of Tony Rivas, nephew of Batista's minister of agriculture. As Rivers tells it, his mother's natural radiance was soon beaten down by her demanding, jealous and moody husband. The family moved to Chicago to escape Castro, yet young Victor could not escape his father, who began beating him when he was only 15 months old. An imaginative child, Rivers steeled himself against brutal whippings by emulating tigers, "tensed and ready to pounce or flee at all times." By the time Rivers was 15, he fought back, throwing Rivas to the floor. But when the older man returned with a knife and, experiencing deep feelings of guilt, yelled, "Kill me!" Rivers ran away. Helped by a series of "angels"—a schoolmate's lawyer father, supportive teachers and coaches, a family that informally adopted him, and his own brothers—Rivers overcame his rage and self-loathing. He tells this inspiring story of emergence from isolation and despair into love and community with passion, optimism and tenderness. Photos.
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Like Jeannette Walls in The Glass Castle [BKL F 1 05], Rivers unfolds a story of a difficult childhood, but his was one of horrific physical abuse at the hands of a violent, controlling parent. Writing with an extraordinary memory for situation and detail, and even some self-deprecating humor, Rivers, now an actor and national spokesperson for the National Network to End Domestic Violence, reconstructs the childhood hell that he endured until, thanks to a concerned coach, a kind teacher, and a series of informal foster parents, he escaped as a teen. The many vivid descriptions of abuse are grueling to read, but they are nicely balanced by Rivers' hard-won successes in later life (including a short stint in professional football) as he struggled to overcome his vicious temper and fear of emotional commitment, both legacies from his father. His determination to speak out to help others who have endured similar trials caps an inspiring record of a life reclaimed. Stephanie Zvirin
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