CHAPTER 1
DEVELOPING BALANCE
Balance occurs on all levels of our being: mind, body, heart, and spirit. When we are really in balance, we feel whole and complete. We are happy, healthy, and confident. We are a joyful and loving person, with a positive outlook on life. Every moment of every day is embraced, and we are truly living! However, living in the Western world at this point in history makes many of us struggle to understand what it's really like to be in a state of balance.
It could be likened to a chair, generally balanced on all four legs. However, if even just one of those legs is shortened, removed, or falls off, it is impossible for the seat of that chair to be evenly balanced. We would have an uncomfortable time sitting on it, if we could at all. So it is true with us. If we are fairly optimistic in our mind and happy in our heart and spirit, but we have an unhealthy body, then there's no balance. Or if we have a fit body and mind, but we feel little happiness in our hearts or joy in life, there's no balance. Likewise, if we are healthy in body, heart, and spirit, but we think negatively, then there's no balance there either.
Mind, body, heart, and spirit all individually affect each other, just as one system of the human body directly or indirectly affects all of the other systems. For example, if someone who is generally well receives some hurtful comments and takes it to heart, he or she may start feeling lonely and down in spirit. This may begin to affect their body through altering their appetite, perhaps leading to excessive emotional eating. This person may start to put on weight over time, and if that balance is not corrected then it may affect his or her mind by creating negative thoughts about themself and low self-esteem. The downward spiral has commenced, and that person would start to feel very unbalanced indeed. In regards to this example, the person could be heading for a depressed state.
The good news is that no matter what point we are at on a downward spiral — even if at "rock bottom" — we each have the capability to make choices to stop and instigate change, turning things around completely. Thus we begin to heal and move onwards and upwards along the spiral.
Being fully balanced (that I also affectionately refer to as being in the zone) however, goes much deeper and is quite multidimensional. What I mean by this is that everyone has had a different experience in life and each is at a different stage and maturity. Regardless of age, some have managed to travel fairly lightly with minimal "layers" built up, that may look a little like this:
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- MINIMAL LAYERS -
Others may be a little more built up, looking more like these moderate layers:
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- MODERATE LAYERS -
And some are weighed down with multiple layers, carrying the most; their true selves are often buried deep inside, making them barely visible under the heavy layers:
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- HEAVY LAYERS -
So what are these layers made up of? Basically, they are a sum of our past experiences that we are still choosing to carry — whether we are aware of it or not. They include our burdens, irrational beliefs, hurts, and guilts. It also includes our fears, anxieties, worries, and self-doubts. This is along with any angers, resentments, frustrations, and hates too. Sound heavy? It is not only heavy, but it is often toxic as well. These layers might be of mental, emotional, physical, or spiritual origin and can be deposited in any of these areas of our being, with varying density.
Some layers may be heavy and dark, while some are thinner and lighter. And the more layers there are, the longer and more in-depth the healing is likely to be. In saying that though, some individuals have a determined focus and are prepared to do whatever is necessary. This subsequently enables them to heal at a rather rapid rate! As human beings our ability to self-heal is truly amazing, and each person is in fact their own healer. Yes, no one can heal us — we can only heal ourselves.
Fortunately we are able to release these layers and begin with an awareness of what our layers are. Through releasing them we make room for the assimilation of new, positive, and empowering aspects. You may prefer to but you don't need to go it alone. There are many lovely people in the world who are ready and willing to assist you.
Traditional Western medicine and health care is generally the first port of call, and at times it needs to be sought. However, I'm referring to complementary medicine that is highly beneficial in healing some issues, not limited to the physical body. In order to receive comprehensive healing, a combination of both Eastern and Western medical assessment and treatment is required.
Only we can make the decision to heal ourselves, but we may need some of those lovely others along the way. You may find assistance through a trusted friend or relative, or you may prefer to seek the confidential and professional assistance of a qualified complementary-health therapist or practitioner. When working with "healers", please remember that they don't actually heal you, as their title suggests. They merely hold the energetic space at as high and fine a level as possible for them, and they provide the tools that you can utilise to instigate your own change. You hold the power and ability to change your life in the most remarkable of ways. You get to choose to be who you really are and create the life that you aspire to live because you are your own healer! I'm not sure about how you feel, but I feel full of excitement for you at the possibilities!
Sometimes healing can feel like you are taking two steps forward and one step back. What's important is to keep facing forward! It is said that it takes twenty-one days to change a habit, and small gradual changes will be the most sustainable. It's one step at a time. Then, once those changes have been implemented, more positive changes can be made.
If you get to the unfortunate point of heavy layers, then in order for you to get out of the "black hole," you need to reverse the spiralling and begin your journey back to a balanced state. This takes unwavering commitment and perseverance to achieve optimal results! Obviously the greater the imbalance, the greater the challenge will be moving back to wholeness. But it can and absolutely will happen — if you choose.
At this very moment in your life, you are presented here with a wonderful opportunity for personal change — that could be seen as a crossroads or "sliding doors" moment for you. The question is; are you comfortable and/or set in your ways? Or, are you prepared and able to step up and outside your comfort zone, to take a chance, to see yourself in truth, and to change yourself and your life — for the better? If you are comfortable, you may let this opportunity pass and everything will stay the same as before — and that is perfectly natural and acceptable! However, if you choose to take a leap of faith — and particularly if your heart sings out yes! — then you will not only begin an exciting new chapter of your life, but you will potentially change your entire world in profound and amazing ways! People go through rapid personal growth and do incredible things when prepared to let go of the old and invest in themselves, in their health and in their wellbeing.
You may already know some people who are living happy, healthy lives, highlighting the benefits of living a life of wellbeing. The more you pay attention to others leading by example, the more inspired you become to make positive changes. This ultimately leads to the enhancement of your own wellbeing. You then will likely prompt the healing in others as you to begin to lead by example too.
It is fantastic to see some health-care practitioners in the Western world opening up to and incorporating Eastern philosophies as part of their routine; combining Western medicine with complementary therapies and not merely prescribing a pill for most ailments. This provides much needed holistic healing for patients. Modern medicine is amazing, especially for diagnosing disease in the earliest of stages through medical imaging. With openness to a combination of the two approaches, patients have the ability heal at a more productive and efficient pace. While there are an extraordinary number of cancer types, the layers of life and experience must be taken into account. Treatment through chemotherapy and radiation is only a part of the healing. I witnessed a couple of other people who experienced the same type of cancer as me around the same time as I did. A few years on, I remained in remission; however, one relapsed and the other sadly passed away.
While we are all on our individual journeys, this is when I realised that for complete healing patients must be assisted to heal their whole being. While intensive treatment may be the main priority and life-saving at first, a focus on the mental, emotional, spiritual, and social factors (along with diet and exercise) must be included. This is complementary therapy, and there are some brilliant cancer-care centres operating now right across the globe. They provide an efficient and holistic nature of care. For that we can all be grateful.
Can everyone heal? Unfortunately, there are times when people don't heal, regardless of all that is done for their healing. The first is when it's their time to leave this earth in the physical form — it's their time to die. The focus then moves to loving care and making them as comfortable and peaceful as possible in pleasant surrounds. That will provide them with the required nurturing environment for their transition to the after-life world of spirit. The second exception to those who don't heal are those who are capable (they aren't going anywhere!) but don't actually choose to take required action. These people may feel that they don't have the strength — that they just can't do it, or perhaps they aren't yet ready to face the truth.
I completely understand that your own truth can be confronting and daunting, yet the intention of healing is to release what no longer serves you and assimilate what does. Real healing causes no further harm, allows you to find your balance, and your true self emerges. You are the only one responsible for holding onto your layers. The layers may be a combination of traumatic experiences, limited beliefs, unhealthy habits, and repressed emotions. You may not even know you are carrying them! You are responsible for releasing what no longer serves you, and for building a refreshed version of yourself (and consequently a refreshed life). Step by step you make your way towards self- fulfilment, peace, contentment, empowerment, health, and wellbeing.
In the upcoming pages I'll provide you with an opportunity to shift that responsibility into choice and action, by working through various reflection and journaling exercises.
Self-Awareness
You are totally unique and truly amazing!
I think that line calls to be repeated ...
You are totally unique and truly amazing! ... and it's as simple as that.
Do you actually comprehend how awesome you are? It's true! Connect with that concept for just a moment ... as you affirm it to yourself; "I am unique and amazing!"
The intention is not to pump up your ego here, but to appeal to your higher self to step forward!
Every person was born into this world with their very own set of skills and qualities — attributes that makes them like no other. No two people are exactly the same, yet (at the risk of sounding contradictory) by an invisible force we are all connected, as one. At the centre of each and every human being is the essence of pure divine love — essentially a little piece of the Divine (God). You might think of it as the diamond within. However, with varying conditions — environment, circumstances, challenges, lifestyle, beliefs, and habits, we can develop these layers over time. These layers influence us and create our own ever changing personal energy. By adulthood that essence of pure divine love may well be buried deep, perhaps very deep in some. It may still occasionally shine to the surface, with a glimmer of light. Everyone, no matter what we have been through, has the capability of healing, growing, and becoming self-empowered ... if only we so choose. Then we must commit to follow up that choice with the necessary action. This is not to be viewed as a "once off" healing, where things go back to how they were prior. True healing instigates such deep changes and improvements in order to "find your true self". You must understand that once you begin the journey, your life will never be the same again. It will very likely be so much better than before! (Woo hoo!)
Every person was born a vibrational being, emitting a scientifically proven electro-magnetic field (our personal energy). Some "energy sensitive" people (whether they consciously know it or not) are even able to "read" that energy. More and more people are becoming aware, opening up to sensing energy, and learning to "trust their vibes" — both their own and what they pick up from others.
Your personal energy is a reflection of the combination of all you are in any given moment. For example, if we are attached to others this will be reflected, as will lack of self-esteem and confidence. I will expand on this further in upcoming chapters. Through self-focus you are actually able to perceive your own personal energy, and with the aid of some effective tools, make the necessary adjustments. Your personal energy will begin to reflect your personal integrity, as your higher self steps forward.
A balanced life is built from the inside out, and thus we must tune out the external influences for a moment and return to self. This is basically a form of meditation or self-reflection. Many people often spend so much time looking outside of themselves ... looking for all the answers. However, in reality the answers lie within. Personal wisdom is a combination of knowledge and experience. Each one of us holds that special key to unlock our own inner wisdom to achieve our infinite potential ...
There's no better time like the present to turn the key. There is no point living in the past, it's done. It's time to let it go. There's no point living in the future either... for who knows what tomorrow will bring?! As Louise L. Hay states in her book Heal Your Body, "The point of power is in the present moment". By living in the now, we can also get very creative and manifest the life of our dreams; for today's thoughts, words, and actions pave the pathway for tomorrow's amazing experiences ...
It is because you are "one of a kind" that your own healing, growth, and empowerment experience towards balance, will also be unique to you. What you need will be different to what someone else needs. What works for someone else may not work for you. Likewise, what works for you may not work for someone else. It is up to you to discover what you need, and take action if you choose to instigate changes to improve your life. Just as no other person can digest the food we eat for us, no one else can live our lives either. Individuals are often far more influenced by others than what many realise. Again, the first step to living a life of balance is to retreat and take some quiet time on your own to reconnect with your true self. This is not selfish, but self-first and absolutely necessary if you are to become the most authentic version of you.
