Pyramids Don't Dance (Until I Got Here)

Khufu doesn’t mean to cause chaos—he just happens to trip over sacred birds, knock over bread altars, and accidentally ignite religious festivals with alarming frequency.

He was supposed to be a boring village scribe. Instead, he’s been marked by the gods as a “Disruptor”—an unwilling, unlucky, and hilariously unqualified agent of divine chaos. Now, with a sarcastic talking dung beetle as his guide, a judgmental camel with mysterious powers, and a target on his back from every bureaucrat and high priest in Thebes, Khufu finds himself on a ridiculous (and possibly holy) quest to save Egypt… by breaking it.

Haunted by mummies with legal complaints, mocked by talking pyramids, and reluctantly leading a rebellion of sacred misfits, Khufu must embrace his one true power: the ability to mess things up so badly that fate has no choice but to course-correct.

Because in a world of inflexible hierarchies and uptight rituals, maybe a little sacred nonsense is exactly what the gods need.

A wildly original absurdist fantasy set in a mythic Ancient Egypt, Pyramids Don’t Dance (Until I Got Here) is part coming-of-age comedy, part cosmic satire, and all divine disaster.