Rear View Reflections
By Savoi Ragsdale-HockerBalboa Press
Copyright © 2017 Savoi Rags
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-5043-8426-1Contents
Face-to-Face, 1,
My Honey!, 2,
Who Ya Gonn Be?, 3,
Paradise, 4,
Grown, Huh?, 5,
True Wealth, 6,
Never in Vain, 7,
My First Big Heartbreak, 8,
Best Friends, 9,
My Buddy, 10,
Savor Every Moment, 11,
My Lemonade, 12,
Brilliant, 13,
Momzi, 14,
Cutie Patootie, 15,
On Purpose, 16,
ManZu, 17,
Down-Home Cookin, 18,
Release, Refocus, Renew, 19,
Who Are You, Really?, 20,
Just Be, 21,
Literally Let Go!, 22,
Poetry in Motion, 23,
Struttin My Stuff, 24,
Designer in the Midst, 25,
Solitude, 26,
Feel, 27,
Confidence Comes in Doing, 28,
I Win, 29,
Alignment, 30,
Just Say Nothing, 31,
Not a Dress Rehearsal, 32,
Your People, 33,
Undeniable Peace, 34,
Judge Not, 35,
Trust, 36,
By My Own Lights, 37,
Now I Decide, 38,
Do What Youve Got to Do, 39,
Jams, 40,
Break the Ice, 41,
Nothing in Vain, 42,
Cake and to Eat It Too, 43,
You Never Existed, 44,
Abundantly Simple, 45,
New Reality, 46,
Manifestor, 47,
The Juice, 48,
Choice, 49,
My True Love, 50,
Act 3, 51,
True Me, 52,
Ciao, Baby!, 53,
Did You Know?, 54,
Holy Nother Level, 55,
Believe, 56,
Resolve, 57,
No Longer Exist, 58,
Sleeping Genius, 59,
Going for Broke, 60,
Turbulence, 61,
Act As If, 62,
Rebound, 63,
All-Wheel Drive, 64,
Never Miss a Beat, 65,
A Rare Commodity, 66,
No, 67,
Best I Can Be, 68,
Music, Singing, and Dancing, 69,
My Next Fifty, 70,
I Do, 71,
True Blue, 72,
Eyes Wide Open, 73,
My Promise to You, 74,
Awesome Gift of You!, 75,
Cabo Day, 76,
CHAPTER 1
Face-to-Face
The hardest thing I have ever done is
come face-to-face with myself,
Holding myself accountable for
what I say I am going to do.
Maturity is doing what you know to do,
But why do I do the total opposite?
When I look deep into my eyes, I
see a perfect, invisible me,
The wisest one I know staring back at me.
Tapping into my greatness is what she is all about.
I could fool the world but never myself
Face-to-face.
My Honey!
My honeypot is the sweetest love
I have ever experienced.
He always enjoys my company and is loyal as hell.
He is playful, my wild man,
And intuitive — he knows
when I need much more of his oh-so-real love.
Many times I don't even know he's around.
He's so laid back, he's mellow,
and he just loves to chill.
He snores like an obese man, believe it or not.
He's my Honeypot, my Tater Tot, my Babe!
My eleven-year-old Lhasa Apso.
Who Ya Gonn' Be?
It's so easy for any of us to flow
with smooth sailing.
The big question is who ya gonn' be
when going through the storms?
Deliver me from those who have an
opinion about how you should
Handle the issues of life.
Whose life is this?
Enjoy the smooth sailing because all of
us have the opportunity to discover
Who ya gonn' be!
Character-building experiences reveal
Who ya gonn' be!
Paradise
Just the thought of embracing you
Puts the widest smile on my face.
Know that just hearing your
voice makes me open up
More and more, like a flower budding.
You tell me it's so sweet.
Finally, I'm home to the lover I always
felt was made for only me.
Welcome to paradise, baby.
Grown, Huh?
I vividly remember how I could
hardly wait to be eighteen,
Couldn't wait to be grown —
or was eighteen grown?
Sure, I could drink if I wanted to, go
to clubs, and officially decide
To do it, if I wanted to.
At that age, should I really have been
making some of those life-
Defining decisions?
Couldn't wait to be grown — or was I?
In reality, I was legal but definitely not grown.
Being really grown is determined by the person.
Couldn't wait to be grown, huh?
True Wealth
What a friend you have been,
Always there for me Through
thick and thin.
You have been on assignment
— each part never dodging
its responsibility,
Adjusting even when I had no idea
of the need for adjustment,
And beautiful in every aspect:
sight, touch, and taste.
Even I say to Him, "Wow, thank
you for blessing me
From head to teeth to toe."
So don't hate because I take care of myself.
To many I look the same as in
high school — why or
how? My first wealth is my health.
Never in Vain
I've got one life to live.
I live it to the fullest.
Different decisions I have made.
Different choices I have chosen.
Each thing I have
Loved through,
Hurt through,
And journeyed through
Has helped me be who I am today.
I have never been one for regrets,
And I am not about to start now!
I am thankful for all the life lessons
I have learned and can share,
can inspire others with,
Because my journey in this life is never in vain.
My First Big Heartbreak
I remember always wondering
whom I would marry.
Then we met.
For the first time in my life, I felt
someone really got me.
We were wonderful friends who
intellectually jived.
Later, becoming sweethearts
Was a natural segueway.
Our kisses I still remember,
And the park was our favorite seclusion.
Talk of marriage and when was
the right time for us
Was so exciting
Until that Christmas I was to meet your parents,
Only to find out I just wasn't good
enough for you or your family.
I guess it's true:
You do marry the family.
Best Friends
Early on, we were two peas in a pod.
Fun! Fun! Fun!
Our brothers were boys, so we naturally hung out.
Then we realized we had a lot
of things in common.
Remaining virgins as long as we
could was one of them.
Remember what we would say
of the ones doing it?
"Yeah, they are so fast," as we
called it in the South,
Proud that we were not.
It was nice to reconnect a while back.
My biggest disappointment?
We never really got to know each other again.
Our conversations hid behind forwarded
e-mails instead of real talk.
I miss what we once had!
My Buddy
Never ever ever do You lead me wrong.
My life just flows when I acknowledge You first.
I call You my secret sauce.
Thank You for always being there.
My life is so sweet just because of You,
My navigational system leading,
guiding, and directing me.
I know I am never alone.
Because of You, I literally live in the zone.
My buddy, God, the divine,
infinite, intelligent source.
Savor Every Moment
I finally have learned how to take
time and smell the roses,
Savor every moment.
When I do, I don't just exist —
I live!
Minute by minute,
Second by second,
Hour by hour,
Day by day, Week
by week, Month
by month,
And year by year.
I then never wonder,
Where did the time go?
Where did the year go?
I know, because I was there.
Every single second
I was truly present!
My Lemonade
I just never liked the taste,
So I didn't drink or hardly drank it.
Then in college I gained fifteen pounds.
Frantically, I called my dad,
And he told me that I never drink enough of it —
Water.
He said, "Did you know that if you
were in a desert three days, you
Would survive if you had water alone?"
No! But I thought, You've got to be kidding me.
So I forced myself to stop every hour
from studying and drink it.
It's now my elixir of life,
With a bowl of lemons, that is — no added sugar.
My lemonade.
Brilliant
You never know who will really live
up to or exceed their potential.
Oh sure, we all have an idea of who.
Truth is, only you know the flame
that burns inside of you.
Only you know the dreams you play
over and over in your head.
Only you design the life you want.
Brilliant —
That's what you are,
Living by your own lights,
Soaring like an eagle,
Redefining greatness,
Making me so proud of all your
endeavors and accomplishments!
Thanks for truly stepping up.
You inspire me, as I am sure you do others.
Momzi
I was a shy little girl, But
people don't believe me.
To an extent, I still really am shy.
But my entry into this world through you
Totally redirected my path.
"Sweetie, would you like to learn
how to play the piano?"
"Yes, Mommy," I would reply.
"Would you like to learn how to sew?"
"Yes, Mommy!"
Before I even knew it, I began to
blossom right before my own eyes.
I used to hate practicing public speaking for 4-H.
Now, speaking is one of my greatest assets.
Thanks for nurturing me to come out of
my shell into the person I continue
To grow into now.
Thanks for taking your assessment
of me so seriously.
Years later, I renamed you affectionately Momzi.
Momzi, I honor you!
Cutie Patootie
An adorable little puppy,
I am so frightened and confused —
after a long plane ride,
I find two perfect strangers waiting for me.
I am relieved to be on the ground,
But don't understand all the noises or commotion.
I miss my momma and my sisters.
This is my first time away from
them, and I'm in a box I hate.
Not sure if I did something wrong or just ... what?
Where are they?
A big man holds me, and a nice
lady is talking to me.
I have no idea what she is saying,
But I feel that I am theirs and they are mine.
Lickey, lickey is what I do over and over again,
My way of showing affection.
I am named after the late singer Prince.
My new mom nicknamed me her Cutie Patootie.
On Purpose
I love this time of year,
When I reflect on my highs and
lows of the previous year
And reach forward to better my best.
I hold myself accountable to
soar like never before,
Turn all lemons to lemonade,
And see the good, the best, of every situation.
Now, time to design my life for 2011.
I am so excited about my new
refreshed vision for my life: I
will enjoy it to the fullest
On my terms,
By my lights,
On purpose!
ManZu
One minute you are my wild man.
The next minute you are snoring
like there is no tomorrow,
Totally content with just being.
I touch you and feel
Soothed, Refreshed,
Grounded.
You've taught me true unadulterated love,
Excitement from just the little things,
Understanding, and your snort of affirmation.
You're never a bother nor a fuss,
My confidant; you are all ears.
My workout partner.
You've given me my very best years, ManZu!
Down-Home Cookin'
For years I've said that I can't cook.
Most recently, my friend reminded me
Oh yes, I can!
Over the years I've allowed my
flame to be put out.
My flame was rekindled recently!
I love cooking, enjoying an awesome meal.
Even sweeter is when guests join us too.
Looking forward to continuing
to explore in this arena,
I have much more appreciation
for home-cooked meals.
There's nothing like it —
Healthy, Southern-style,
Down-home cookin'.
Release, Refocus, Renew
The shackles have been broken.
No more tug-of-war.
Relax and enjoy your life to the fullest
While I do the same.
Thank you for all the
Inspiration to write and
Express myself more and more.
Thanks for showing me that if I
can think it, I can ink it.
Thanks for being
A mirror reflecting back to me
What I admire in you, I am and try to walk in too.
I've been too close to the forest to see the trees,
But now I'm released, refocused, renewed.
Who Are You, Really?
What do you call it when you
love someone and still
Realize that you really don't
even know him or her?
Who are you, really?
What makes you tick?
What's your favorite color?
How do you spend your downtime?
What kind of honey are you?
Reveal yourself to me.
What kind of friend are you?
I want to get to know you —
Not the person I thought I knew.
One layer at a time, I'd like to get to know
Who you are, really.
Just Be
True to my own lights,
Doing my absolute best,
Giving God all the glory,
Inspired to tap into my greatness more and more,
To understand, feel, and communicate
the true essence of me,
I thank God for the barometer I
now have to gauge love
The way I deserve to be loved.
Never allowing anything again to be a hindrance,
deterrent, or stumbling block,
I now view them as motivators,
inspirations, and regulators
Reminding me of all I want, desire,
and deserve in my life:
My fire, my light, my safety net,
My most powerful and positive energy–
Where I can just be!
Literally Let Go!
I no longer hold onto your heart or pull on it
By my thoughts, words, or vibes.
I am a blessing in your life.
I breathe life into you.
I encourage, inspire, and support
you exactly where you are.
I celebrate your successes and
encourage you to continue
To strive to be your absolute best.
Still — I release you, babe!
Literally, I let go.
Poetry in Motion
Dancing is still my absolutely fave thing to do!
I just lose myself.
The great melodies, bass, and awesome grooves
Pull me in so seductively.
I just let my body express what I
hear and how it makes me feel.
Poetry in motion is what dancing is for me —
So much so that I will even wrap my knees
If I want to dance the night away!
Old school is my favorite because of all the fond
Memories it brings.
Jazz and classical come straight behind.
Would you like to
Dance the night away?
Struttin' My Stuff
Music, cameras, and fashions light up the runway.
While struttin' my stuff, I'm in
character for my apparel.
I always thought I'd be a professional.
Here is my Hollywood.
Nontraditional is my beauty, I'm told.
I lose myself, as though I am on the dance floor.
I always thought I would be a
fashion designer as well.
Who knows? You never know.
What I know for sure is that I
blossom in this environment.
It is my wheelhouse and so much of who I am.
I am a creative being.
I don't try to dress differently. I am just me —
Sincerely, fiercely, and authentically
me.
Designer in the Midst
It's never too late to pursue my dreams.
No matter how I look at it, it's
been a dream for years
To be a designer.
It all started with learning to sew at six years old.
Sewing for me was not only a wonderful
release, but I loved creating.
I literally could not stop once I started.
I would compete in 4-H, and because
I was sewing Vogue patterns
At such an early age, they thought I
didn't make many of my garments.
Over the years, I haven't sewn as
much, but I create and coordinate
Regularly within my wardrobe.
Some express themselves through
words, But I express myself creatively in
art — the wearable kind.
Solitude
Everything seems amplified:
The sound of the second hand on the clock,
And the sound of air or heat going on and off.
Other than all the
thoughts running through my mind,
I can hear a pin drop.
Shh!
I just landed in the sphere of the ultimate!
Solitude.
Feel
Feel! It guides me in every area of my life.
I call it my gut.
When it's not right, it feels like
butterflies in my stomach.
When I am on the right path, I just
have an awesome peace.
Much of my life has been led by
this powerful aspect,
Whether I knew, understood, or
even thought it or not.
For me, I acknowledge Him,
And He directs my path
Directed by how it feels!
Confidence Comes in Doing
So you wonder how I can be so sure of myself.
You can be guaranteed that I have
not always felt this way.
I, like you, have done things that
I just was not good at.
Just like a baby making his or her first step,
Confidence comes in doing.
So over the years I performed
past my understanding
And many times past my ability,
Only to learn more and more about myself,
To gradually feel better and better
About my new challenge.
Not just in thinking or in talking but in the
Doing, confidence comes.
Excerpted from Rear View Reflections by Savoi Ragsdale-Hocker. Copyright © 2017 Savoi Rags. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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