If You Still Recognize Me

This heartfelt, poignant YA debut is a second-chance summer romance that will steal your heart—perfect for fans of Heartstopper, Some Girls Do, and It’s Not Like it’s a Secret.

This summer, Elsie is finally going to confess her feelings to her longtime—and long-distance—crush. Ada’s fanfics are to die for, and she just gets Elsie like no one else. That is, until Joan, Elsie’s childhood best friend, literally walks back into her life and slots in like she never left. Like she never moved away to Hong Kong and never ignored Elsie’s dozens of emails and letters.

Then Ada mentions her grandmother’s own long-lost pen pal (and maybe love?), a woman who once lived only a train ride away from Elsie’s Oxford home, and Elsie gets the idea for the perfect grand gesture. But as her plan to reunite the two older women ignites a summer of repairing broken bonds, Elsie starts to wonder if she, too, can recover the things she’s lost…

With a beautifully earnest voice and a dash of fandom, this wistful and delightful novel is a love letter to queer coming-of-age, finding community, and finding yourself.

• Childhood Friends to Lovers: She was the best friend who disappeared. Seven years later, Joan is back, and Elsie has to navigate a tangled history and feelings she never expected.
• Bisexual Protagonist: Torn between her long-distance crush on Ada and the surprising return of Joan, Elsie must figure out what her heart truly wants in this heartfelt coming-of-age story.
• A Pen Pal Mystery: Inspired by her crush’s grandmother, Elsie sets out on a quest to reunite two elderly pen pals who may have been more than friends, uncovering a decades-old love story.
• Fanfiction Community: A shared love for a favorite comic connects Elsie to her online crush, Ada. It’s a world of fandom, fanart, and finding people who just get you.

Cynthia So was born in Hong Kong and lives in London. Their work has been published in speculative fiction magazines such as Uncanny, Strange Horizons, and Anathema. When they’re not writing, they can often be found at the theater, entranced by a play or a musical. They’re also extremely enthusiastic about board games and tabletop role-playing. If You Still Recognize Me is their first novel.