After that party and a chain of mistakes that occurred there, I knew I had to give up alcohol once and for all. If it meant gaining the trust of the people I love again, I was willing to get sober.

On May 6th, 2023, the day after the party, I placed myself in alcohol recovery. I refused to allow strong substances propel me into saying hurtful things or committing hurtful acts. This was not only the beginning of my journey to sobriety, but the beginning of proving myself to everyone, but most importantly, myself.

That entire summer, along with suffering from anxiety, I was haunted by the mistakes I made that were influenced by the taste or presence of alcohol. Every day and night was a challenge, and I was not sure how I was going to live with what I’ve done and make it up to everyone I disappointed.

Writing has always been my therapy for overcoming any situation. I normally wrote fantasy novels, but I believed it was no one but God who told me to take a break from the fantasy, so I could build myself to confront the reality.

In a collection of poems I wrote, I invite readers into my heart, my mind, my pain, my regret, my apology, and most importantly, my recovery.

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