Rejected Books is a collection of forty hilariously unrealistic, totally cringe-worthy covers for books that will never, ever be published—from the authors of Images You Should Not Masturbate To

Have you ever had a great idea for a book but then thought, “Nobody would ever read that”? Well . . . you’re probably right. But you’re not alone! Enter Rejected Books, a rollicking collection of the best book covers for books that were never meant to be. These awful pitches were turned down for any number of reasons: they’re either too long, too sad, too raunchy, or just plain bad.

The compilation of imagined book covers in Rejected Books will have you scratching your head and guffawing with every page turn. Though Pranks with Sausages and Holy Bible II don’t actually exist, Rejected Books offers up a professionally produced series of photos imagining just what these wacky ideas (and plenty more) could look like.

Rejected Books includes delightfully weird covers of imagined books like:

• The Sculptors Who Couldn’t Do Hands
• Cooking with Breast Milk
• Possessed Toys: A Buying Guide
• Unfortunate Gluing Accidents
• Camel Toes Through History

Enjoy the worst book pitches of all time and rest assured that anyone can have a future in publishing . . . even if your ideas are totally horrible.

About the Author

Graham Johnson, after being rudely interrupted by a thirty-year career in advertising, is now back to creating ideas for books that will be intentionally rejected, as well as products that should have been rejected (like invisible action figures and timetables for time travel machines). Graham has reassessed his priorities and has realized that figurines made of air and a timetable for a means of travel that doesn’t exist yet are a far more useful contribution to society.

Rob Hibbert is a successful copywriter by day. By night, he’s a failed comedy writer. Some of his fails include: badly writing a book (Images You Should Not Masturbate To), poorly writing a web series (“How to Talk Australians”) and inadequately writing a TV pilot (“I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better”). He’s also failed at stand-up comedy.

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