The Resilient Self: How Survivors of Troubled Families Rise Above Adversity

A guide to self-empowerment designed to help adult children of dysfunctional families free themselves from the past discusses characteristics that allow individuals to cope with trauma and forge a healthy life and explains how to develop such traits. 25,000 first printing.

Recent media reports on adult children of dysfunctional families have presented them as victims of their pasts, observe the husband-and-wife authors of this useful self-help guide, who call such a presentation the Damage Model. Instead, they propose the Challenge Model, which is based on seven types of "resiliencies"--aspects of the survivor that provide some measure of strength. These are insight, independence, relationships, initiative, creativity, humor and morality. The Wolins allege that these areas are particularly well developed in people from troubled homes--for example, families headed by alcoholic, abusive, uncommunicative or mentally ill parents. Case studies analyze the various types of resiliency, while the reader is also instructed on how to use them to "reframe" and overcome painful experiences. A Damage Inventory helps readers to "evaluate how badly their self-esteem was hurt by the experience of growing up in a troubled family." Steven Wolin is a clinical professor of psychiatry and medicine at the George Washington School of Medicine; Sybil Wolin is an educational specialist who practices in Washington, D.C. Author tour.
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.

A self-help volume for adult children of dysfunctional families that puts the emphasis on rising above adversity rather than on reliving the pain of abusive relationships. Here's a book with as many clich‚s as there are buzzwords in the sentence above, with the authors including dozens of anecdotes about people with no last names--Barbara, Noreen, Alan, Bill; a do- it-yourself ``Damage Inventory''; and terms like ``Damage Model,'' ``Challenge Model,'' and ``Victim's Trap,'' plus a list of seven ``resiliences'' that line up to become chapters in the book--which, however, is not without value. The Wolins (he: Psychiatry/George Washington School of Medicine; she: a child-development specialist) point out to victims and therapists alike that children of troubled families may be more instrumental in their own survival than they realize. Even as preschool youngsters, they may implement one or more of the ``resiliences''--insight, independence, initiative, humor, creativity, or morality--to preserve a core of self. The chapter on relationships is typical, illustrated by stories of one ``Sandra'' 's friendship with an elderly neighbor, and including an interesting reanalysis of the ``sympathetic witness''--a theory, popularized by Alice Miller, that children who overcome histories of abuse do so with the help of an adult who befriends them. But the Wolins suggest that it may be the abused child, shrewdly identifying grown-ups who may be supportive, who seeks out and befriends the adult. Although the authors don't explain fully why some abused children grow up to be healthy adults and some don't, they provide a broader base for thinking about the issue. A positive--if too gimmicky--spin for those who think of themselves as victims. (Diagrams--not seen) -- Copyright ©1993, Kirkus Associates, LP. All rights reserved.

This book, directed at people who claim to have been raised in troubled families, provides methods for overcoming the handicaps created by a dysfunctional upbringing. The authors cast a broad net in defining a dysfunctional family. Among the examples of childhood adversity is a woman who is haunted by her parents' refusal to allow her to attend the circus with her classmates and a person who is shattered by once being denied money for an ice cream cone. Virtually all survivors of negative childhood experiences can boost their self-image by adapting the seven "resiliencies" prescribed by the authors. The resiliencies include insight, humor, independence, initiative, and creativity. Pseudo-psychological jargon abounds: e.g., discard the "damage model," adapt the "challenge model," and develop your "resiliency mandala." Suitable for the self-perceived walking wounded; for large public libraries.
- Carol R. Glatt, VA Medical Ctr. Lib., Philadelphia
Copyright 1993 Reed Business Information, Inc.