Resolution Impossible: The 12 Commandments for Masterfully Avoiding -The New Year-

WARNING: MAY CAUSE UNCONTROLLABLE LAUGHTER AND EXTREME AVOIDANCE OF NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

WELCOME TO THE “ANTI-RESOLUTION” REVOLUTION

Tired of setting ambitious New Year’s goals, only to watch them crash and burn by February? Good. This book is your “permission slip” to stop pretending you’ll change and start embracing the glorious chaos of staying exactly the same.

From the dubious wisdom of THE QUESTIONABLE STEPDAD—the same misguided genius behind the 12 Commandments series—comes a guide to failing your resolutions with style, humor, and a touch of mischief. But heed this warning: prolonged exposure to this book may result in excessive procrastination, unapologetic laziness, and a sudden desire to ditch every goal you’ve ever set. Side effects may include laughing until you cry and accepting yourself as you are.

Packed with commandments, pro tips, blessings, and examples that make failure feel like an art form, this book is a love letter to PROCRASTINATORS, OVERTHINKERS, AND DREAMERS WHO KNOW BETTER. Whether you’re scrolling through Instagram instead of hitting the gym or “manifesting” a better life while binge-watching reality TV, you’ll find a kindred spirit here.

So pour yourself a glass of grape juice, grab yourself some snack mix, and, settle into your comfiest sweatpants, and join us on a journey of spectacular underachievement. RESOLUTIONS ARE OVERRATED. AVOIDING THEM? NOW THAT’S AN ART FORM.

WARNING: Do not read this book if you’re determined to succeed—this is your gateway to GLORIOUS MEDIOCRITY. Start your year right—with a book that lets you do everything wrong.