Robots Feel Nothing When They Hold Hands

Dear Book Nerds,

How's the book business going? Not dead yet? Great! Hey, you know what the problem is? Words! You know what people like? Pictures! You know what they love? Family Guy. Okay, so how can we all move forward? How about an R-rated picture book of jokes written and illustrated by the guys that brought you Family Guy? Jokes so silly, stupid, twisted, offensive that they must be captured for future generations of wiseasses. This is what we are working on for you. Oh yeah, and we're late. That's why we have no cover illustration to show you yet. But we're thinking there will be a robot on the cover. A naked robot.

Thanks and sincerely,

Alec Sulkin, Artie Johann, and Michael Desilets Illustrated by Joe Vaux and Dominic Bianchi

Alec Sulkin: Family Guy writer, @thesulk, Jew, amateur scatologist, probably good with money. Uncomfortable around his own kind (cybernetic organisms).

Artie Johann: Family Guy writer. Was once described as the "nicest asshole you'll ever meet." His stepdad is named Gene, and has a mustache.

Mike Desilets: Family Guy writer (technically). As his photo indicates, he's one of life's finer douche bags. He also grew up moderately poor, so that gives him a fake edge.

Joe Vaux: Family Guy director. Amateur dragon enthusiast. Office high-jump champion. Has worked in animation for 15 years. Currently exhibits his personnel painting in galleries around the world, some of which you can see at www.joevaux.com.

Dominic Bianchi: Family Guy director. Bi's, tri's, lat's, and abs. Certified babe magnet. He smokes when he feels like it and has never littered. Co-created the animated series Ditka for 20th Century Fox. They hated it.