The Save of My Life: My Journey Out of the Dark

A riveting look behind the mask of an NHL goalie, The Save of My Life offers understanding and hope to anyone living with mental illness

By the time he was twenty-two years old, goaltender Corey Hirsch had realized his childhood dream of playing in the NHL, won an Olympic medal and drunk from the Stanley Cup. While he excelled on the ice, out of the net Hirsch was plagued by persistent dark thoughts and ceaseless anxiety. On days when he could barely get out of bed, he was able to push aside the endless loop of dark thoughts running inside his brain long enough to win a game. But as soon as he got back home, the agonizing cycle started all over again. And it continued, until finally he was able to confide in a team trainer who helped him get the professional treatment he needed. Diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder, Hirsch was able to embark on the rocky road to recovery. As one of the first professional athletes to talk openly about mental health, Hirsch wrote about his OCD for the Players’ Tribune. His piece remains one of their most-read articles ever.

As Hirsch says, “I am not insane. I am not a bad person. I am not weak. I have an illness, and there is a treatment.” 

In 1994, COREY HIRSCH won the Stanley Cup with the New York Rangers, as well as a silver medal at the Olympics. Born in Medicine Hat and raised in Calgary, Hirsch was drafted by the New York Rangers and played for many seasons with the Vancouver Canucks. Also a former NHL goalie coach and analyst with Sportsnet, Corey Hirsch is now a sought-after speaker, a mental health advocate and a co-host of the Players’ Tribune podcast Blindsided.

SEAN PATRICK CONBOY is the editor-in-chief of the Players’ Tribune. He has worked hand in hand on award-winning essays with some of the world’s top athletes, including Kobe Bryant, Kevin Love, Allen Iverson, Russell Wilson, Damian Lillard, A’ja Wilson and Megan Rapinoe.