We Do: Saying Yes to a Relationship of Depth, True Connection, and Enduring Love

"If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful―not just for starters, but for the long run."

An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union

Committing fully to a loving partnership―a "we"―can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds?

"All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships," writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. "You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times."

In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include:


Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundation
• It’s all about prevention―learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occur
• Understand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship―neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and more
• Numerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflections
• Dozens of exercises―the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and security
• Handling conflict―how to broker win-win outcomes
• Build a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple

Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage―much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed.