CHAPTER 1
Military Move to Alaska
Wow, time was moving extremely slowly. It was 2001. I was ready to permanently change stations (PCS) and begin my new life as a married woman. But, prior to our move to Alaska, I was tasked with completing the Advanced Non Commissioned Officer Course (ANCOC), an eight week mandatory course for promotion to the next military rank. These were definitely going to be a strenuous eight weeks. I had to prepare and succeed in class, plan a wedding, and plan a major family move simultaneously.
This period in my career was very rewarding and at times overwhelming. Because of my background in training as a Drill Sergeant, I was looked upon for assistance with most ceremonial events while attending this course. Again, adding a little bit more to my already hectic life. But I'm still a Soldier so please don't take me wrong, I love training and mentoring Soldiers; it's what I do best. From the position as Student First Sergeant to Flag Detail to everyday precession marching, I was busy.
I loved my life and my career. My man had made it from Oklahoma and was visiting with me on the regular. My son was residing with my sister in South Carolina and doing well in school. Life was wonderful. You could see it in my walk and hear it in my talk.
"Time is progressing and the class is going well. Soon things will be moving vigorously and I look forward to my transition and life as a wife".
Two weeks until we graduated and excited would be an understatement. The gown was ordered and the Maid of Honor and Bridesmaids dresses were at the seamstress's. My fiancé was soothing me with promises of a wonderful life; everything was going as scheduled and things were looking up. I was looking forward to spending some quality time with my family prior to the move. Virginia is beautiful and I would really miss it, but it was time to move on to bigger and broader adventures. My fiancé and I were anticipating our seven day driving trip to Alaska as husband and wife.
"Seven days on the road with my new husband, my son and our darling dogs. I'm looking forward to being the best wife and friend that I could possibly be. My life is peacefully turning into something so memorable and grand."
Well, graduation was finally here and my family had arrived; my fiancé and son, my sister and her children, and my aunt. How beautiful it was to sustain the support of family during this special occasion. The military is extremely stressful on single parent families, but family support makes it all bearable. Stress is the inevitable but thanks to the love and support of my family, my military career thus far had been rewarding. Through the demanding obligations to my military career, my family has been nothing short of amazingly supportive. There were times when my mental and emotional state was tested, but the love and support of my family stood the test and I appreciate everything they did for me.
After graduation, we shared a family weekend in Northern Virginia, a small relaxation period prior to the wedding. We enjoyed a seafood feast and historical monuments, and just the joy of each other's time. Where else does your profession allow you to live this comfortably and free of charge? The kids were having a wonderful time and no one was complaining about the lengthy walking and touring. This was the first time my nieces and nephews visited Northern Virginia and the expressions on their faces told you that this was indeed an event they would never forget. Through it all, thoughts of pure joy and happiness consumed me and it was a feeling of incredible passion.
As the weekend neared its end, I was reminded that we had three weeks until our vows and again I was overwhelmed with preparations and planning of the best ceremony possible. My special day was quickly approaching and after 31 years of my life, I was finally getting married. My military career was fast-tracking and now my personal life and family would soon be complete. Everything was falling into the order of life God had prepared for me. The wedding planner had done a marvelous job on the proposed plan and reception hall venue. She had been a diamond in the rough, with all the turmoil and chaos. The dresses and tuxedos had been fitted and tailored. The wedding party had been briefed and rehearsed. All was proceeding according to plan and I was overly excited about my special day.
"Thoughts of the wedding start to consume me. I find myself over-thinking things and constantly worrying about the responsibilities the planner should have a handle on. I'm a nervous wreck but my spirits are high."
My wedding day (August 4, 2001) had come and I can remember running out to the hair salon for my spa and final preparations. Anxiety had set in and I found myself wondering if all expectations and preparations had been accomplished. I couldn't help praying and asking God to bless me with the most special day ever. Well, I was reassured by my stylist that it was normal to feel the way I was feeling, because we all strive for perfection and try to prevent imperfections. My mind was at ease as I drove back to my sister's house to finish dressing for "my special ceremony".
"Well, we're all dressed and ready to move on to the church. Anxiety sets in and I'm forced to put those feelings aside and get on with the job Second Wind "A Mother's Strength" at hand. I'm reminded that this is the moment I've been waiting for."
Our wedding was as perfect as anyone could have imagined. The church in South Carolina was elegantly adorned with flowers and pew dressings. The Bride's & Groom's Party were beautiful, their ensemble of forest green and black were stunning. The music (live musicians) was electrifying and memorable. My family turned out in the masses. This was truly a marvelous day for this "new bride." Several of my military buddies traveled to South Carolina and made this occasion that much more special. I remember vividly being nervous, as my uncle and I walked down the isle of the church. He continued to ask me if I were O.K. and insisted that I just follow his lead as we moved from pew to pew. You see, my father had passed away four years earlier and it was an honor to have his youngest brother, give me, his oldest daughter away on her wedding day.
The ceremony was so beautiful and time actually stood still, at least in my mind, for this unforgettable occasion. Wow ... let me not forget,
"I have two days and we're off on our road trip to Alaska."
With all this in mind, I gave myself to the joy of the little time we had left with the family. My sisters planned and put on a phenomenal reception and the turnout was as amazing as at the church. We danced and ate and had a great time. Everything from the traditional removing of the garter to feeding each other cake; this had to be one of the most memorable days of my life. After the reception, it was off to our hotel suite, which was booked by my aunt at the Embassy Suites. It was quite beautiful and elegant. This was not a typical "honeymoon," but nonetheless a beautiful ending to a beautiful day. My special day was winding down and the next leg of our journey was gearing up.
"Well, morning meets us with a ray of sunshine and brisk winds. My "Husband" and I indulge in each other and afterwards a short breakfast. Yes, our time is being cut short; we will be departing for Alaska in 24hrs."
After checking out of our "Honeymoon Suite," we drive about twenty miles to my sister's house. Once we arrived, my son met the truck and expressed to me how happy he was that we were going to Alaska. Actually, I think he meant happy that we were starting a road trip and he had no more school. Nonetheless, I shared this happy moment with him as we made our way to the front door.
"This has truly become a bitter sweet moment; unbeknown to me, the next time I would see my family would be under extreme circumstances."
Well, the second phase of our so-called honeymoon was upon us. It was bright and early on a Monday morning and the truck was loaded. We said goodbye to my sister and her family, gathered up the dogs and my son and jumped into the truck for our seven day road trip to Alaska. This indeed was a bittersweet moment, but I was excited to move forward with my new life and new husband to our new duty station. Yes, Alaska here we come. Unlike many military families, we decided to drive the entire 4,700 miles. We figured we would use this time to continue to bond and unwind before we got back to the business of Soldiering; you know—certifications, weapons qualifications, field exercises, maintenance inspections, etc. So, as you could imagine, we drove as slow and stopped as often as we could, to prolong the time.
We traveled from South Carolina through Tennessee, Minnesota and on to the Dakotas. My family had never known such beauty of this magnitude prior to this vacation. Don't get me wrong, I've driven before, but nothing north of Illinois. Our trip continued through Canada and we were bonding and loving every minute of it. We stopped every chance we got for family photos. One thing I remember, which was quite surprising, was that the hotels in Canada looked deserted and isolated. It was quite scary and confusing. Nonetheless, it didn't dampen our spirits.
At the request of my son, we stopped at the West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton, Canada. This mall was extreme in every sense of the word. There were indoor roller coasters and wave pools, which were a part of this huge amusement/indoor water park. There were actually people surfing indoors! This experience was truly impressive and memorable. My son swam and rock climbed and had a wonderful time. If it weren't for my career as a Soldier, my son may have never witnessed or taken part in this type of exhilaration. After a fun-filled day at the indoor amusement park, we settled down in a hotel and continued our trip through Canada the next morning.
As we traveled through the beautiful isolated towns of Canada, I was in awe of the seclusion, but comfortable, peace. I can remember checking into a hotel in White Horse which was so isolated that the doors were not locked and the attendant arrived the next morning for check-in; unbelievable ... I can't imagine that type of trustworthiness in the States. Continuing with our trip, I can remember the winding roads and mountainous scenery. This was truly a once in a lifetime experience and the family was closer than ever. There were Mountain Goats along the roadside and believe it or not, brown bears! This was simply amazing! I can recall stopping at small shops along the way, which rested along the river, where we observed White Water Rafting and canoeing. What we were experiencing was so awesome and breathtaking. Merely to observe such radiance and enjoyment reminded me of how lucky we were to be Soldiers in love.
After approximately seven days of driving and taking in the scenery, we arrived in beautiful Alaska. What an absolutely amazing experience. When we reached the Alaskan/Canadian border, we were met with a little confusion; nothing major, just that my new husband needed his citizenship to present to the border patrol representative. So, we dug through briefcase after briefcase and finally retrieved his citizenship paperwork. All went well, they took all our paperwork and we were on our way. Who would have thought that the weather would be so warm and comfortable? I remember the horror stories about Alaska being extremely cold and dark, but this mid-August weather was so nice and pleasant that I forgot where we were for a brief moment.
We continued our drive, and once we arrived in Fairbanks, we located Ft. Wainwright and proceeded to check-in. We were given a list of hotels to consider. Believe or not, we reached Ft. Wainwright at approximately 9:30 p.m. and the sun was still shining as bright as it was at 12:30 p.m. These twenty hours of daylight would take some getting used to.
CHAPTER 2
Birth of a Love Child
Well, it was about 11:00 p.m. when we finally found a "Bed and Breakfast" that would house the entire family; two adults, a child and two dogs. The room was a beautiful and spacious studio apartment that had been converted from a garage. We had never experienced anything like it; very nice. Once we checked in and got everybody situated, it was almost 1:00 a.m. Not to mention, the sun was still shining and my seven year old was quite disconcerted. He had slept during most of the driving and couldn't understand that it was bed time and the sun was shining through the windows. As you could imagine, this new found Alaskan luxury was going to take some getting used to.
Once everyone was settled into bed, the thought of waking up to our new lives in Alaska comforted us all. Yes, we all had fantasized about how life would be here and how we would react to the weather, but all seemed fine. We truly had no complaints and we enjoyed all that had come our way so far. The thought of starting our journey as Alaska residents felt awesome. First of all let me distill the rumors and myths;
"we arrived in early August and the sun did go down about 3:30 a.m."
"there was no snow anywhere."
"it was about 85°."
"everything was bright and green."
"the population was very diverse, all nationalities."
"there was a Starbucks, K-Mart, McDonalds, J.C. Penny, and lots of Mexican and Chinese restaurants"—just to mention a few of the things that stunned and surprised my family.
After a short night's rest, we awoke with the excitement of our adventures for a day of sightseeing. We got ourselves up and hurried to the front desk to speak with the owner of the Bed and Breakfast. Following breakfast, she provided us with a map of places we should visit. Those places included rental properties, restaurants, recreation sites and schools. Throughout the day, the amazement of that beautiful state had the entire family awestruck. We never could have imagined such beauty and likeliness to the lower 48 states. We spent several days sightseeing and house hunting. We were determined to find a home with a heated two car garage and a minimum of three bedrooms. This was a little tiresome, but we didn't stop. It seemed as if we found everything except what we were looking for, and it was difficult not to become discouraged. After several days of no luck, we returned to the Ft. Wainwright Housing Office, where we were given a list of newly released properties. The following day we went out to look at the newly listed homes and we got lucky. Everything we wanted plus washer & dryer hookups and 2200 square feet. Life seemed great at that point ...
The house hunting was over and our tenure in Alaska as a married couple had begun. Life was nothing short of wonderful and I embraced every moment. My husband and son were my joy. I had been married for approximately six weeks at that point, and although happy, something was missing. My husband and I spent the next couple of weeks signing into our units and in-processing the installation. We enrolled Jamel in school and once again, our day to day activities were absorbed by our careers. We continued our vacation on the weekends as we took in this beautiful weather and explored Alaska, like tourists. It was mid-September and it was still warm. The family indulged in company picnics, baseball and football games. At the same time we enjoyed our new found luxury of fishing.
"The life of a dual military family ... our jobs and commitment consumed most of our time but not to an extent that we didn't enjoy each other's company. We had really jumped back into Soldiering"
Now that my hubby was back at work, it seemed as if he was always gone on some field or company training exercise. There seemed to be a training exercise every other week and loneliness started to set in. I found myself spending countless hours trying to persuade my son to do something recreational so we could get out of the house. I really missed that man and we couldn't hang out as much as we did before. So my son's extra-curricular activities started filling the emptiness of my husbands' absence. The life of an Artillerymen's wife ... although it was lonely at times, when my husband was home we really made up for the lost time. He knew how much our time together meant to me and he made every effort to keep me happy. So for the next 3-4 months, we spent lots of time making up.
"Needless to say, all that making up for lost time ended with me taking a trip to the clinic for a missed menstrual cycle."
Around the second week of February, 2002, I had missed a menstrual cycle and suspected I was pregnant. After contemplating with myself, I went to the doctors and my suspicions were true.... Yes, we were pregnant. I was so overwhelmed with excitement and joy. I remember thinking,
"This is truly a gift from God and this baby will make our family complete. My son no longer has to celebrate special events and special occasions alone. What an amazing feeling that has come over me and I can't wait to surprise my husband".
