Settle It! : A Self-help Guide for Solving Your Conflicts

Why risk losing a special relationship or a promotion at work because of a nasty conflict? Are you being controlled or manipulated, used or abused? No matter how difficult and painful your conflict has become, The Action Plan in this book, will activate a change for the better by guiding you to a satisfying resolution. It doesn't matter who your opposing party may be: a nightmare client, an obstinate teenager, a manipulative lover, or a vindictive boss, The Action Plan puts the power for settlement into your hands - you don't have to hire a mediator.

If you think that your communication or negotiation skills are weak, then the questions listed in The Action Plan provide you with a reliable script to keep you on the right track till you reach a solid solution.

The entire Action Plan has been visually summarized with six memorable comics. Over thirty cartoons exist to humour and inspire you to overcome the blocks that prevented you from settling your conflict.

Learn the remarkable truth about what really caused your conflict. Top-notch mediator, Vagiste, will expose you to the three layers that surround every conflict. Most people get stuck in the first layer, because their anger prevents them from moving forward. The Action Plan enables you to move smoothly through all the layers till you reach the root cause of your conflict. When you address the underlying issues, you will free yourself of those on-going headaches and heartaches - otherwise known as conflicts.

Discover the joys of being able to express your anger constructively so that then you can move through the process to reach a lasting resolution.

Vagiste, who is also a parent, created a simplified Action Plan for children under the age of thirteen. All too often, adults belittle the fights that children have and just yell at them to STOP! In doing so they are demonstrating the belief that 'might makes right'. And the kids who are being yelled at, get the message loud and clear that it's okay to control people by yelling. Thus at the very next opportunity, the same fight gets replayed more noisily than before. A child learns the first human rights lessons at home. "SETTLE IT!" shows how we can honour our children by enabling them to resolve their conflicts. Parents who jump in to rescue their fighting youngsters by slapping on a quick fix, find that the fighting continues shortly afterward. Young people need to be responsible for resolving their fights. If they own the problem, they also own the best possible resolution to it - except it's not so easy to reach. So a parent, or grandparent, can intervene by asking questions from the Action Guide. These questions will guide the discussions of the young people to their own resolution. With children who are under the age of seven, a parent would lean heavily on his suggestions for respectful behavior. Older children can operate more independently. Adolescence is a time when kids stop asking for help because they know all the answers - so ahead and ask them the relevant questions from the adult version of the Action Plan. Let's keep out homes safe havens of harmony.

We live in an angry world, where anyone of us could become a victim when bottled up anger erupts. From rage on the road and in the air, to fighting in the classroom, boardroom and bedroom, we're in near continuous conflict! Enjoy the benfits of a harmonious life with "SETTLE IT!" The Science of Anger will demystify this complex and powerful emotion. Now there's no need to go to bed angry. Let your conflict become a catalyst for a positive change through The Action Plan.

Vagiste is one of America's leading experts in conflict resolution. In 1998, she helped to initiate some dramatic changes to Ontario's Justice system through the court-connected Early Mediation Program, which won an International Award of Excellence in New York City. She has worked as a mediator and trainer for over twelve years. Her clients range from multinational companies to solo entrepreneurs. She also mediates student fights. She has an Honours Degree in Communications from York University, an Education Degree from the University of Toronto, and a Mediation Specialization from Windsor University's Law School. She studied Mediation at Stockholm's International Peace Research Institute, and the Victim Offender Mediation Institute in Tucson, Arizona.

In "SETTLE IT!" she has simplified her interest-based mediation process and called it The Action Plan. It's designed to help people to resolve a wide range of disputes without hiring a mediator.

As a parent, she developed a simplified Action Plan for children's conflicts. Her daughter helped to write a section of the book on bullies.

Vagiste has traveled to several countries as a distinguished speaker. She uses her acting talents to enact classic interpersonal conflicts in order to demonstrate some common communication blocks. The memorable cartoons that illustrate her talks are inspirational. She is more than just a talking head. Her passion for peace is rooted in her Swedish genes! As a frequent guest expert on television and radio, she spreading the word that mediation strategies apply to home, school and workplace disputes.