The Sibling Bond

Updated with a new introduction by the authors, this anniversary edition shows the sibling relationship as a distinctive emotional, passionate, painful, and solacing power that shapes who we are and who we become. The relationships among brothers and sisters are infinitely varied-a sibling can be one's worst enemy or closest companion. Though their love or hate, envy or compassion, and closeness or rivalry are formed in childhood, these bonds last throughout life, creating character and affecting behavior in numerous situations. Strangely, this profound attachment-second only to the parent-child bond-was rarely studied or understood until recently, perhaps because the feelings siblings have about each other are usually both intense and secret. Bank and Kahn chart this unknown territory, offering a theory of the ways in which siblings attach, create each other's identities, and affect the course of each other's lives. Illustrated with poignant portraits of brothers and sisters in childhood, adolescence, and adulthood, this book provides a profound understanding of these complex and enduring relationships, examining the influence of childhood intimacy, parental behavior, family turmoil, birth order, and gender. Based on more than twenty years of research and clinical evidence, The Sibling Bond fifteenth anniversary edition brings fresh insight to important clinical and theoretical issues, including attachment theory, the development of the self, and the emergence of sexual identity. While Bank and Kahn demonstrate the implications of their findings for both individual and family therapy, they also give readers a vivid opportunity to recognize and reflect on their own sibling relationships.

Stephen Bank is director of the Center for Consultation and Research in Patient-Physician Communication in Middletown, CT.

Michael D. Kahn is professor of clinical psychology at the University of Hartford's Graduate Institute of Professional Psychology, and has a private practice in Hartford, CT.