I Didn't Sign Up for This (Paperback)

“Partnerships are tricky, especially when you are parenting young kids. I Didn’t Sign Up for This offers an approach for how you can stay connected to your partner—and to yourself—as you navigate those early childhood years. Dr. Tracy weaves together real moments from couples therapy, honest stories from her own life, and direct teaching of coping skills so you can make meaningful change in your home.” —Dr. Becky Kennedy, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Good Inside

“I Didn’t Sign Up for This offers relatable stories of real-life couples. Whether you are newly in a relationship, married with children, or navigating a blended family, you’ll gain real tools to help you feel more connected with your partner.” —Eve Rodsky, author of the New York Times bestseller Fair Play

What happens when your relationship no longer feels like the one you said “yes” to?

Couples therapist Dr. Tracy Dalgleish has spent the last seventeen years dedicated to helping hundreds of couples in distress find hope and healing, sometimes by staying together and other times not. Breakdowns in communication, lack of intimacy, infidelity, overbearing in-laws and exes (to name a few)—she’s seen it all.

Shortly after the birth of her first child, Dr. Tracy suddenly began to see herself in her clients’ narratives. Despite the overwhelming joy she felt as a new mother, she also found herself welling up with anger and resentment toward her partner as she began shouldering more than half the domestic load and childcare labor in their marriage. In time, she found herself uttering the very words she’d heard countless times in her office from her clients: I didn’t sign up for this.

Part memoir, part self-help, Dr. Tracy Dalgleish’s debut book provides a rare look inside real therapy sessions with four couples—and into her own marriage. With unflinching candor and heartfelt empathy, she digs to the root of the issues that fuel our day-to-day relationship conflicts and illuminates the common struggle of what it means to be human: the incredible difficulty of showing up wholly and authentically in our most intimate relationship with others and with ourselves.

Dr. Tracy Dalgleish, CPsych, is a clinical psychologist, couples therapist, and sought-after relationship expert. For over fifteen years, she has provided direct clinical services to couples and has dedicated her time to researching, writing, and speaking about relationships. Her goal is to make the skills and tools she teaches her clients more accessible so they can build healthier relationships with themselves and with others. She is the founder of Be Connected Digital and the owner of a mental health clinic, Integrated Wellness. She lives in Ottawa, Canada, with her husband and two children.