Silent No More (Cat Tails)

Silent No More is a much-awaited book, written and illustrated by Nicky J Rae. A lack of self-confidence and a few bumps in the road have kept people eagerly waiting. Nicky J Rae is a performance poet. Her poetry is written mostly for the purpose of being read out loud. Nicky uses body language alongside her oration as part of her lively, captivating, and sometimes graphic performances. Nicky is and always has been an open book about the harsher realities of both her own life and of the world around her. Her genuineness and sensitivity have created a significant “Me too” following and is very well respected in the Spoken Word community. Nicky feels very blessed that people feel able to share aspects of their life with her and describes it as “a very humbling privilege”.

From Nicky....
'I am diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I write poetry, it generally comes out of my mind at random times and stops me in my tracks. I never sit down with an intent to write. I let my health conditions lead me. Sometimes, a poem starts in my head in random geographical locations; in a supermarket or whilst driving for example. When this happens, I press record on my phone and start speaking it out, usually in a manic way. My poems are never edited. There is never a draft copy. What comes out first is the complete final piece regardless of anything.
Many poets use the same structure in all their poetry, such as Free Verse, Sonnets, Villanelle, Couplets and so forth. I found that this is something which I do not do. The Bipolar part of my brain creates clashes of chemicals, and my mind can go off on extremes, as can my mood. Those who know me in person can testify to this, especially when it comes to conversations. I can divert off many different tangents and completely confuse everyone including myself! You will observe and experience my mental health conditions as you read this book.'

“An enlightening, yet at times a distressing read. This book is a beautiful poetic masterpiece. It would be a valuable resource to help support and validate individuals who are living with complex mental health problems.”
Phillipa Hubbard,
Director of Nursing & Deputy Chief Executive
of Bradford District Care NHS Foundation Trust

“Over the past thirty years, I’ve regularly worked and performed with my friend and fellow poet, the rapper Donavan Christopher (a.k.a. Dee-Bo General and Rapperman). Whenever he’s listened to me doing a set that includes some of my angry and intensely political poems, he’ll lean towards me and say “You’re not light, Nick!”.
The same could be said by me, many times over, to my namesake and friend, Nicky J Rae. I was headlining a gig in Keighley about ten years ago when we first met. She was nervously doing a floor spot. The full-on screwed-up nerve-wracked this-is-me harrowing harshness of her performance that night persists in this debut collection.
Life, lousy relationships, and years of wrestling with her own self-harming mind could so easily have destroyed her, and often came close to doing so, as many of the soul-baring poems in this stunning and numbing collection reveal… but no. They’re, instead, the testament of a survivor.
These disarmingly brutal, tortured, and unremittingly confessional outpourings serve as her living proof that it’s always worth clinging onto life, no matter what. Dark as they are, these poems show us that there’s always a way through.
Creativity itself has kept her going. We see this not only in the dark web of words she relentlessly weaves, but also in the wonderfully diverse artwork with which she illustrates her words.
You’re not light, Nicky, but you’re a truly creative force of nature. Long may you live, love, survive, and thrive. “
Nick Toczek