The Soft Answer: Verbal T'ai Chi for Sociable Self-Defense

Words can hurt.
The same person who was verbally aggressive with you yesterday may be back again tomorrow.
This time, you'll be ready...
...and, you'll be confident, effective and even kind.

"I may know quite a bit about language, but feel as if I have never learnt (or been taught) about communication.I intend to read, and reread, and reread it for personal and social use."~Brian Donovan, Ireland

If you're looking for a way to "get even" with someone, this is not your book. Instead, The Soft Answer teaches you soft but highly effective skills that restore balance and give people a graceful way out of their needy, habitual aggression.

Someone who tries to get you riled up is in desperate need for your attention. This gives you an opportunity.
You can leave them enough space to make a better choice, and, surprisingly often, this is exactly what happens.

Change your conversations to win/win!

Everyone has been on the receiving end of verbal aggression, whether it's outright criticism, a backhanded compliment, a manipulative remark, or a socially awkward attempt at connecting. It may come from out of the blue, or bubble up in the middle of a conversation, even with someone we know well.
This can leave us feeling frustrated, angry, or hurt.
What can we do?

The lessons learned in T’ai Chi can teach us how to navigate our social relationships.
We cultivate awareness of what is going on within, and study being ‘in relation’: our limbs and joints in relation to each other, our relationship to our environment (the ground, the sky, the air around us), and our interactions with others. The philosophy of T’ai Chi guides us to seek and maintain balance in all of our dynamic relationships.

The Soft Answer provides you with techniques and strategies to handle uncomfortable social encounters and to restore balance by disempowering verbal aggression.

• It can teach you to pay attention, start fresh, and find a third option that is neither fight nor flight.
• It can help you to recognize the systems that we get embroiled in, and that bring unnecessary drama into our lives.
• It can illuminate the pitfalls and show ways to change dysfunctional dynamics.
• Most importantly, it can bring you back to the peace and comfort of the home that is you.

We invite you to give The Soft Answer a try.

"Excellent. You forced me to start exploring how I communicate (or, don't) with almost everyone I know, or meet, in the social world. It is never too late to learn, but learning to communicate? I should have learnt this many, many decades ago. Great work! The most remarkable thing for me is that my primary degree is in English and Journalism; my masters degree is in English language literacy; and my Ph.D. is in educational linguistics. I may know quite a bit about language, but feel as if I have never learnt (or been taught) about communication.I intend to read, and reread, and reread it for personal and social use."~Brian Donovan, Ireland

"Bravo! Brava! Bravi! You have done an excellent job of pulling together a lot of information—much of which was new to me. And then, to make it cohesive and useful in such a creative, encouraging way is positively brilliant. The T’ai Chi spirit infuses every aspect of it." ~EW

"…a great and important undertaking…where was this info 30 years ago?!! I might have saved me a lot of mental anguish, "stewing" and possibly suffering. I think HR departments all over the place will be interested. Companies pay tons of money to keep people calm and productive in the work place." ~ KF

"Something that's really needed in today's world. " ~ MKS