Squeeze Play: A Sultry Tale of Drugs, Drones, Jello Wrestling and Burmese Pythons in the Greater Everglades

Velma and Buster are neighbors in the South Florida subdivision Verandas by the Sea, and they both like to swim nude. But they’ve never met. Velma’s wondering what happened to her tiny Colombian cleaning woman, Esperanza. Buster is sunbathing in the mangroves and digesting Latin food. His Burmese relatives are taking over the Everglades.

Can all this be related?

And what about that frog-faced reputed drug lord in the black Maserati? The two barmaids from Defuniak Springs who wrestle topless in pits of Jell-O and creamed corn? What about Hank, the former Navy SEAL, defense contractor, and sometime spy with the sexy sailing yacht who floats Velma’s boat? What’s with the drones? And why do those mysterious crates of high-powered papayas keep arriving nightly at the Bonefish Biker Bar off the Tamiami Trail?

Not since Carl Hiaasen’s best has there been so much darkly comic fun in the sun-drenched Florida fever swamps, where a Speckled Perch Queen, a Wine Fairy and a beauty named Pudenda are all key characters—and a drawbridge saves Velma from murder.

Ken Ringle, a former prize-winning writer, editor and critic for The Washington Post, has written about Florida's often surreal environment and culture for numerous publications, including the Post and National Geographic.

He is also an experienced mariner who has voyaged more than 10,000 ocean miles under sail, much of it as a tall ship crewman.

He lives in Washington, DC, and Avery Island, Louisiana, and once owned a pet alligator.