Stand-Up Put-Downs

For a stand-up comedian, a heckler is either a curse or a blessing. On one hand, the drunk at the back of the room yelling incoherent nonsense can ruin the evening for everyone. But on the other, a funny, well-timed heckle can really ramp up the laughter in the room. Either way, all stand-ups know they must be prepared to deal with hecklers by using the most effective weapon at their disposal - the put-down. Whether they are sharp enough to fire them off on the spot or they have a battery of tried-and-tested insults to suit every different occasion, put-downs are an essential part of every comedian's repertoire. Here Rufus Hound, compere extraordinaire, has compiled 200 of his favourites. Read on, and laugh along at some of the funniest insults in comedy history.

Rufus Hound has co-hosted Glastonbury and Top of the Pops with Fearne Cotton, sparred with Marcus Brigstocke on Argumental, done silly things with Keith Lemon on Celebrity Juice, said some quite interesting things on QI, picked apart the polls on 8 Out of 10 Cats, shown off his business nous in The Apprentice: You're Fired and presented his own Channel 4 show, My Funniest Year. Despite all these TV appearances, Rufus's first love will always be live stand-up and he's had plenty of practice putting down hecklers.