Should I Stay or Should I Go?: A Step-by-Step Workbook to Help You Decide If Leaving the US is Right for You

Deciding whether you should stay in the US or if you should move abroad to live this next phase of life in another country can be overwhelming. While it may seem daunting or even impossible to pick up and leave countries, Should I Stay or Should I Go? A Step-by-Step Workbook to Help You Decide If Leaving the US is Right for You helps readers research and reflect on their options, making informed decisions about their future.

The sixty-one worksheets in Should I Stay or Should I Go? guide readers to identify what's true in their lives, what could be possible, and what they ultimately want. Then, it supports readers in determining their thresholds for leaving the US, exploring where they might live abroad, how they might move abroad, and to identify strategies to strengthen their digital and physical security if they stay or if they go.

Ultimately, the book helps readers know that whatever the outcome - if you stay or if you go - you've made an informed decision about your future.

What's in the workbook?

• Risk evaluation frameworks to help you assess different risks and opportunities within the current political conditions.
• Tools to help you identify and hold complexity without getting stuck.
• Reflection prompts to help name priorities, acknowledge your feelings, and imagine possibilities.
• Prompts to help you identify and name personal / familial thresholds for leaving the US.
• Checklists and worksheets to help you keep track of your research about emigration to another country.
• Resources and supportive prompts to help you plan the best next-steps for this next season of life, no matter what answer you come to at the end of the workbook.
• Warm & colorful designs.
• Writing that combines storytelling with calm, grounded, get-it-done instructions.

About the Authors:

Grover and Nova Wehman-Brown created the Should I Stay or Should I Go Workbook to share tools they used when faced with their own complex choices about leaving the US or staying put under the pressure of rising authoritarianism, rising costs of living in the United States, gun violence, and an eroding safety net. After many years of interrupted conversations whispered from the front seat of the family car and late nights researching what could be possible, they now live in the Netherlands with their school-aged children. www.stayorgoworkbook.com

Grover Wehman-Brown is a writer, narrative strategy professional, and parent.They are the creator of Masculine Birth Ritual, a podcast about masculine-of-center queer and trans people birthing and parenting young children, and Grover Reads the News, a podcast and Substack news summary created before the November 2024 election as a resource for caring people to face the news together. They write a newsletter at You've Got Mail (only Butch and platonic) on Substack. Dr. Wehman-Brown holds a BFA in Writing from the Pratt Institute and an MA and PhD in Communications from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. They live at the edge of a forest in the Netherlands where they relocated in 2025 with their wife (and co-author) Nova and two school aged children.

Nova Wehman-Brown (she/her) is a queer femme writer, strategist, community builder, and parent who has spent nearly three decades helping people and organizations make better, more human-centered decisions. As a longtime UX (User Experience) and product design leader in both the private and public technology sectors, she has dedicated her career to making complex systems more equitable and accessible for everyone.Born and raised in the creative chaos of the San Francisco Bay Area, Nova grew up believing that care and community are acts of resistance. She lived outside the US in France and pre-Putin Russia for many years. Her work-whether in community-centered technology, design strategy, or arts-based mutual aid-centers around helping people navigate uncertainty with empathy and clarity.