Stay with Me, I Want to Be Alone: A Chaplain's Search for Meaning

Finalist — 2026 BookLife Prize (Inspirational/Spiritual)
Finalist — 2026 Feathered Quill Book Awards (Religious/Spiritual)

Keith Wakefield became a chaplain because of Guns N’ Roses. As a child burdened by fear of failure, he was inspired by Axl Rose’s heart-on-his-sleeve honesty. That raw search for meaning carried him into chaplaincy, where every day he sits with patients and families facing overwhelming loss, end-of-life diagnoses, and the questions that come with them: How do I go on? Where do I find strength? What really matters now?

In Stay with Me, I Want to Be Alone, Wakefield invites readers into the hidden world of hospital chaplaincy - where grief support, spiritual care, and the search for meaning collide. With stories that are sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny, and always human, he shows what it means to be fully present at the bedside of the dying.

This deeply personal spiritual memoir blends humor, vulnerability, and insight to reveal:

• What chaplains really do in hospitals and at the end of life.

• Practical lessons on grief, presence, and how to support others through suffering.

• Honest stories that move from boredom to hilarity, panic to peace, devastating loss to unexpected grace.

Written with candor, wit, and reverence, Wakefield offers an unforgettable look at death, dying, and what the living can learn from both. Vulnerable and curious, sometimes snarky and irreverent, his lyrical voice carries the clarity and hope of a true spiritual traveler.

For readers of memoirs on grief, end-of-life care, and spiritual growth. This book belongs alongside titles by Atul Gawande, Kate Bowler, and Paul Kalanithi.

"Wakefield's accessible, almost conversational, writing effectively conveys the trauma, sadness, uncertainty, and hope that a chaplain encounters daily" - Kirkus Reviews

“Made me laugh, cry, and want to become a chaplain.” —Neil Wenger, MD, MPH

“Seamlessly weaves memoir and chaplaincy into universal human truth.” —James A. Hynds, PhD

“A masterclass in healing through genuine presence.” —Robyn L. Hacker, PhD

“Brings humanity, humor, and reverence to chaplaincy.” —Rev. Gina Harvey, ACPE CE, BCC

“Rare transparency… a heartfelt perspective unlike any other.” —Mary D. Farah, Hospital Chaplain

“Brilliant storytelling that delights and instructs.” —Angela Song, BCC

“Disarmingly honest and captivating… a vindication of spiritual care.” —Vanessa Able, The Dewdrop

Keith is currently the Manager for Clinical Pastoral Education Programs at UCLA Health in Los Angeles, California and an Association for Clinical Pastoral Education Certified Educator and member of the National Faculty of ACPE. He has taught chaplaincy at Johns Hopkins Bayview Medical Center in Baltimore and at Stanford Health Care in Palo Alto. Keith has chaplaincy experience in medical intensive care, burn, surgical-trauma, cardiology, psychiatry, oncology, and other general-medicine units.