Stop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers: How to Transform the Way We Keep Children Safe from Domestic Violence

Awarded 2024 Book of the Year by Coercive Control Chat Magazine

Imagine risking your life to keep your children safe only to be accused of "choosing him over your children?"

Domestic violence survivors all over the world share the experience of protecting their children yet still being blamed for "choosing their partner over their children," "failing to protect," and perpetrating "parental alienation." Unchecked, these accusations can become the justification for separating children from their protective mothers. Harmful claims can thrive in environments in which fathers’ behavior is ignored while mothers are blamed for domestic violence’s negative impacts.

In this groundbreaking book written for professionals and survivors, David Mandel deconstructs the six key myths at the heart of mother-blaming and father-ignoring culture, demonstrating their flaws and limitations. Each step along the way, David uses the principles and tools of the Safe & Together Model to outline easy-to- implement solutions to these all-too-common problems. With an approach that is supported by case studies and testimonials of practitioners and survivors, you will learn new ways to partner with survivors and intervene with domestic violence perpetrators as parents.

This book will show readers how to do the following:

• Identify mother-blaming and father-ignoring in practices that harm children.
• Unlock the power in the concept: "Domestic violence perpetration is a parenting choice."
• Create systems that are more ethical, efficient, safer, and effective in their responses to domestic violence.
• Intervene in a better way with perpetrator parents.
• Give protective mothers full credit for their efforts.
• Offer new ways to keep more children safe and together with their protective parent.

Join the thousands of practitioners and survivors who have already learned and applied the Model.