Stopping the Violence : A Group Model to Change Men's Abusive Attitudes and Behaviours : The Client Workbook

This informative and helpful guide will assist your clients in making positive strides toward a nonviolent life. Some of the tips and suggestions that are further explained in this workbook include:

• Acknowledge to yourself and to others that you have a problem with anger, abuse, and control
• Address mental health and chemical use issues if they are present in your life
• Come to know that, when you become abusive, you are always feeling inadequate, powerless, and unlovable
• Realize that controlling and abusive behavior hurts you and those you love
• Understand that anger is different from abuse and control
• Recognize that becoming abusive is always a choice
• Instead of blaming others, take responsibility for what you feel, how you think, and how you act
• Accept that you cannot control or change other people
• Remember that you can always take a time-out
• Think about the possible consequences before you become controlling and abusive
• Identify what triggers your anger and your abusive and controlling attitudes and behaviors
• Notice what you are thinking: Your thoughts can increase your escalation or calm you down
• Become aware of all your feelings, not just your anger, and learn to respectfully communicate them to others
• Turn conflicts into positive problem-solving opportunities
• Control, abuse, and violence are learned: Think about the messages you received from your family and from society about what it is to be a man
• Redefine manhood as nonviolent and nonabusive
• Take the risk to count on other men for emotional support
• Learn to feel a genuine sense of pride by taking control of how you view the world and how you act
• Start to believe that you can truly change the controlling and abusive parts of who you have been

David J Decker