Don't Suffer, Communicate!: A Zen Guide to Compassionate Communication

This is not just another book about communication.

Every person in conversation with another human being has a plus-one. Communication difficulties (“I wish I had said…”, “I wish I hadn’t said…”, “Why is she…”, “How can he…”) arise from not realizing that our plus-one does most of the talking and thinking for us, making many of our interactions frustrating, dissatisfying, confusing, painful, and upsetting.

Who is this unnoticed intruder?

Through exchanges between dozens of people from all walks of life, Zen teachers Cheri Huber and Ashwini Narayanan unmask the mysterious plus-one. From painful interactions between intimate partners to dealing with uncomfortable silences, this book addresses the misery we often experience in communication and offers simple tools for ending suffering.

Written in the style of an advice column where readers send in their communication troubles for guidance, this book offers practical ways to deal with issues that arise around day-to-day communications. 

Whether it’s a personal problem with communication (I'm shy, I talk too much, I'm not clear when I communicate, I tend to say the wrong things, I hate silences) or communication difficulties with another (boss, partner, parent, close friend, store clerk), this book breaks down the process of interference from the plus-one and offers methods to restore connection in a humorous and compassionate way.

Cheri Huber is the founder of the Zen Monastery Peace Center in Murphys, California. She is the author of twenty-four books, among them the widely read There Is Nothing Wrong with You, The Communication Book, The Key, and Transform Your Life. She has been a student and teacher of Zen Awareness Practice for forty years. Ashwini Narayanan co-facilitates and creates workshops with Cheri Huber and runs the operations of the two nonprofits that Cheri founded. Her eclectic background includes degrees in physics, business, and computer science; work experience at an advertising agency, an investment bank, a social enterprise, and several technology startups in the Silicon Valley; and a passion for Eastern religion, history, literature, and dancing.