Talking the Tough Stuff with Teens: Making Conversations Work When It Matters Most

"They've always wanted me to be open and honest with them, I've spent years explaining stuff to them, and sometimes they still don't understand everything" - Milly, 16

"Your parents aren't actually hatching a plan to ruin your life..." Reg, 52

From the small stuff (bedrooms, punctuality, screens) to the huge stuff (relationships, exams, mental health, drugs and alcohol), teenagers and their parents often struggle to talk to each other - and talking is key if your young person is facing new challenges as they leave childhood behind. A well-timed conversation, a listenting ear, a non-judgemental and receptive attitude - all of these can make an enormous and lasting impact on how safely and happily a teenager navigates this crucial stage of their development.

Oh, if only it were that easy.

It's not easy to talk to your teenager, or for them to talk to you, but it is critical and may even be life-saving. This book draws extensively on hundreds of conversations that Fiona Spargo-Mabbs has conducted with young people and parents in school and college workshops, to give a framework for tackling tough conversations about difficult things, without judgement or anger. It gives context and insight, based on the latest neuroscience findings on the teenage brain and, importantly, it gives hundreds of prompts and plenty of practical suggestions and strategies to make communication between parents and young people a two-way street that builds the foundations for a strong relationship with your adult child. Covering everything from the small stuff, like curfews and tidiness, to the tough stuff of relationships, sex, mental health and drug and alcohol use, this is a warm, compassionate and important book that draws on lived experience and the lives of young people as they are, not as we think they might be.

Fiona Spargo-Mabbs was a manager in adult education, including Family Learning, and family literacy, for her local authority when her son Dan died. She is now considered one of the leading experts in drugs education in the UK, and her influence is growing steadily. She, and the Daniel Spargo-Mabbs Foundation, are involved in an ever-increasing number of strategic projects nationally, and she has appeared in the media many times over the years. Fiona has led on the development and management of the work of the Foundation, from delivery to students and co-ordination with schools, to networking and strategy, and chaired the Board of Trustees until April 2016. Her passionate commitment to do all she can to prevent what happened to her son, or any other harm from drugs happening to anyone else, drives everything she does within the Foundation.