Teachers' Lessons Last a Lifetime (Or at Least Until the Next Exam): 175 Jokes to Last Until Your Pension

A teacher has the intellect of a philosopher, the stamina of an athlete, the patience of a saint, and the pay of a teacher.

Your poor teacher endures chaotic classrooms, parent-teacher conferences, edicts from the principal, homework that’s incomplete, and complaints from school boards, principals, assistant principals, hall monitors, parents, and other teachers. Even more impressive: your teacher puts up with you. This long-suffering professional deserves a reward, and a nice, shiny apple just won't cut it. No, your teacher deserves a few good laughs.

From award-winning comedy writers Gene Perret and daughter Linda Perret, these 175 original one-liners will give teachers all the laughs of a night out at a stand-up comedy club in the quiet of their own bed. (Let’s face it, that’s where all teachers want to be after a long day in the classroom.) Teachers’ Lessons Last a Lifetime (or at Least Until the Next Exam) will make teaching―and consequently, learning―more fun.

Gene Perret has been a professional comedy writer since the early 1960s, writing stand-up material for Slappy White and Phyllis Diller, among others. He began in television in 1968 on The Beautiful Phyllis Diller Show. He wrote for Laugh-In and collected three Emmys as a staff writer on The Carol Burnett Show. Gene was on Bob Hope's writing staff for twenty-eight years, the last twelve as Hope's head writer. He traveled with the Hope troupe to several of the Christmas shows from war zones. He produced Welcome Back Kotter, Three's Company, and The Tim Conway Show. Today, he lives in Southern California and teaches email classes in comedy writing. His hobbies include painting, sketching, and playing the guitar. He paints rather well and sketches adequately, but you don't want to listen to his guitar playing. No one does.

Linda Perret followed in her father's funny footsteps and has been involved in various aspects of comedy writing since she sold her first professional joke in 1990. Today, Linda supplies one-liners and comedy bits for ventriloquist Terry Fator and his cast of characters who perform at the Mirage Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas at the Terry Fator Theatre, and around the country. She has supplied material to Bob Hope, Phyllis Diller, Joan Rivers, Yakov Smirnoff, Jimmie Walker, and other stand-up comics. She's written comedy for the business world, adding a touch of humor to executive speeches and a little bit of fun to corporate award ceremonies. Linda was a staff writer for the television special celebrating Hope's 90th birthday, "Bob Hope -The First 90 Years" That show won an Emmy Award for "Best Musical Variety Show," and Linda and her fellow staff writers were nominated for a Writer's Guild Award for their work on that script. She has co-written two collections of business jokes published by Prentice Hall—Funny Business and Bigshots, Pip-squeaks, and Windbags. She is the author of HMO's, Home Remedies and Other Medical Jokes. Her material has been quoted in Reader's Digest, the National Enquirer, and Arizona Highways.