Don't Tell Me to Relax: Emotional Resilience in the Age of Rage, Feels, and Freak-Outs

A handbook for staying grounded, emotionally connected, and empowered regardless of what's in the headlines and who's in your face.

From politics, climate change, and the economy to racism, sexism, and a hundred other kinds of biases--things have never felt so urgent and uncertain. We want to take action, but so many of us struggle with overwhelm and burnout. And on top of it all, we get so many messages telling us to relax, to "let it go" and feel some other way about things. We'd like to think that emotional intelligence and mindfulness will help--but why do these approaches so often fall short in fever-pitch moments?

In his warm, funny, streetwise style, Ralph De La Rosa offers tools for coping in contentious times. Full of insights and practices addressing everything from trauma triggers to privilege guilt and the art of saying no, Don't Tell Me to Relax brings the welcome news that our thoughts and emotions are not the enemy. Rather, when met skillfully, they can light the way to self-empathy, social understanding, and an activism that has room for both inner and outer work.

Ralph De La Rosa, LCSW, is a psychotherapist in private practice and a seasoned meditation instructor. He began practicing meditation in 1996 and has been teaching since 2008. He was a student of Amma's (Mata Amritanandamayi) for sixteen years and began studying Buddhism in 2005. His work has been featured in the New York Post, CNN, GQ, SELF, Women's Health, and many other publications and podcasts. He regularly leads immersive healing retreats at Omega Institute, Spirit Rock, and Kripalu. He is a summa cum laude graduate of Fordham University's social work program and has trained in multiple forms of trauma-focused treatment including Internal Family Systems therapy (IFS) and Somatic Experiencing (SE).