Thrive: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating Your Life by Design

STOP.

Right now, just pause. Take a breath and ask yourself: How did I get here? And what exactly does ‘here’ even mean to you right now?

Look around—at your health, your relationships, your career, your finances, and your sense of spirit (whatever that represents for you). Is this where you want to be? And maybe the bigger question is, When did I decide this?

The truth is, most of us didn’t decide. Somewhere along the way, life started deciding for us. Maybe it was the well-meaning advice of family or friends: “You know what you should do?” Or the cautious voices of doubt: “Are you sure? That sounds too hard… you’re too old, too young, too whatever.”

Feedback like that can act like reins on a horse, jerking us off course and making us take a different path, or forcing us to halt completely. And before we know it, years have passed—we’re in a career we didn’t choose, a body we don’t recognize, or a life that feels like someone else’s.

It’s a lot like when you find yourself pulling into your driveway after a long day and thinking, “Wait… I don’t even remember the drive home.” Autopilot. Except we’re not talking about your commute anymore; we’re talking about your life.

If you haven’t hit a major transition yet, just wait—it’s coming. Life has a way of throwing curveballs I call the “7 Ds”: Diapers, Diamonds, Divorce, Disability, Death, Distance or Diversification (think career change). These wake-up calls can leave us spinning, wondering how we got so far off course, like we fell asleep at the wheel.

Here’s the good news: you don’t have to stay on autopilot.