Time to Gather : How Ritual Created the World--and How It Can Save Us

One of our great decoders of human connection chronicles the astonishing rise of new rituals around the world—and offers a road map for restoring togetherness with gatherings you’ll love

Since time immemorial, humans have turned to ritual to connect us in periods of change. Until today. Birth rituals and coming-of-age rituals have plummeted; fewer than half of Americans are married; only one in three is buried. “It took us ten thousand years to establish cultural norms around how we mark collective life transitions,” writes Bruce Feiler. “It took us fifty years to dismantle them.” Can this threat to society be reversed?

To find out, Feiler went on a round-the-world ritual road trip, attending—and participating in—life rituals in sixteen countries on six continents. These spectacles, some rarely seen, include a mass baptism in the Vatican, a tribal bride price negotiation in South Africa, an adolescent tooth filing in Bali, six weddings in Las Vegas, and ten funerals in Ireland.

Beyond the decline in traditional rituals, Feiler discovered that we are in the midst of a ritual renaissance that is pushing back against apathy, loneliness, and digital saturation. Fed up with top-down scripts, everyday people, from boomers to Gen Z, are reimagining collective rituals at a remarkable pace, inventing fresh ways to gather around life, love, health, and family—and forging thriving communities in the process.

As he did with Life Is in the Transitions, Feiler also collected stories of a hundred ritual designers and built a first-of-its kind database of ideas to make gatherings more effective—from creating sacred space to mediating conflict to generating “wows” that guests will talk about forever.

From a master storyteller uncovering a thrilling phenomenon hiding in plain sight, A Time to Gather is both a stirring adventure and practical manual. It’s a landmark guide to modern ritual; a tool kit for turning everyday moments into unforgettable celebrations; and an invitation to reconnect and rejoice—together.

Bruce Feiler is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers, including Life Is in the Transitions, The Secrets of Happy Families, and Walking the Bible. His three TED Talks have been viewed more than five million times, and he teaches the TED Course “How to Master Life Transitions.” A native of Savannah, Georgia, Bruce lives in Brooklyn with his wife, Linda Rottenberg, and their twin daughters.