The Torah: The Director's Cut (Paperback or Softback)

In this Historical Satire, God and Moses complain that Torah translations change from their original meanings through centuries, cultures and intents like whispered messages in children's' telephone games.
In Genesis, God explains the difficulty in creating a universe and getting concrete trucks to arrive on time, his relation to Santa and why old Jews talk like Yoda. I learn how Joseph's coat got him in trouble and that Tamar exhibited Jewish women's evolutionary traits of Lilith's chutzpa, Eve's attitude and Sarah's ability to nudjer.
In Exodus, Moses explains why Vincent Price is in The Ten Commandments movie, but Edward G. Robinson is in the Torah. Aaron, the first lawyer, gives the reasons to free the Jews including: Jews take Egyptian jobs. Moses explains how breaking the Commandments on the Golden Calf invented Jewelry.
In Leviticus, Moses introduces the schnecken and the shtick to control his people and explains why Sandy Koufax didn't pitch on the Sabbath.
In Numbers, God, Moses and Aaron give numbers for everything. They name the twelve tribes: Orthodox, Conservative, Reform, Sephardics, Ashkenazis, Kabbalists, Sadducees, Pharisees, Zealots, Galitzianers and Litvaks and tell how the Hasidism gave the French the color black.

By the end of this Historical Satire, I learn Deuteronomy should be Duderonomy meaning 'Rules for Guys' and why God wrote it in sports clichés.  Moses and God finally fade away to Moses' songs; Mesopotamian Homesick Jews and The Tribes They Are A-Changin'.