How To Train Your Human: The Dog's Guide

Tired of being treated like a cat with slobber or a hypercarnivorous canary? Wishing that your human were better-behaved, and wondering how to improve your relationship? Well, you’ve come to the right place. Humans these days know far too much, and dogs rely on a little bit of mystery to keep their lives somewhat frisky and free. On the other hand, your clever-clogs know-it-all people still believe the darnedest things about you – and they need your help to show them the truth.In this guide, we discuss the basics of the human animal and try to identify which sort of human parent you have. (Is it The Stodge? The Camp Director? The Fusspot? Or The Absentee?) We’ll look at strategies for getting more of everything you want: food, fun, frolics; and less of what you hate: dull routine, spartan living, and shampoo – to name but three.A happier relationship is just around the corner – and your human will think they did it themselves, when the real genius behind the improvement is you!