How to Transform Yourself into Any Animal: A DIY Guide to Surgical Procedures

Tired of being human? Do you feel in your mind you were actually born a ferret, or a wasp? Well this is the book for you. Within these pages lies a series of illustrated surgical procedure tutorials that will help you achieve your dream of Transforming your body into ANY animal imaginable. You don't need to splurge out on expensive sterile medical instruments. Practically all you need is a hacksaw, sewing kit and damp cloth. And this book. Beautifully illustrated by the author's five year old son this is not only a useful self surgery tool but also a unique work of art that not even child labour laws can contest. Mammal, reptile, amphibian, sea dweller, invertebrate. The secrets to becoming all these and more are hidden in this book and this book alone. LIVE YOUR DREAM TODAY!

Orca Man was sadly born a human. He rectified this via self surgery in 1991. Now he is a whale and much happier. He has spent the last quarter century developing DIY surgery techniques. He is legally obliged to inform the reader he is banned from all aquariums and marine parks.