Trapped in the Magic Mirror: Shattering Illusions about Romance and Marriage

A subtle message has been ingrained in American women, telling them their primary goal in life is to find the "Prince" who will whisk them off to a "Magic Kingdom" and save them from the drudgery of an ordinary life.

This Prince will make them feel beautiful and loved and will meet all their emotional needs, if he truly loves them. These unrealistic expectations are what Dunn calls the "Magic Mirror," and when unmet, they lead to a constant craving for "something more."

Unable to make their wives happy, husbands often react by emotionally distancing themselves. Lonely and disillusioned, wives turn to romance novels, movies, food, and shopping to fill the emptiness. Those comforts turn into addictions, and that is when women become trapped.

Only by finding the "Christ within" and developing a strong sense of their own value and God's vision for their lives, can women rise to their potential and overcome narcissism, emotional neediness, and romance addiction. This comes by focusing on God instead of their husbands to meet their needs and by retraining their thinking about romance.

Only then can they have the courage to become the kind of woman they admire, one who is not dependant on romance and constant attention from her husband in order to feel good about herself.

Deborah B. Dunn is a licensed marital and family therapist in private practice, who has worked with women and their families in crisis for over twenty years. Her burden to help families has led her to start a nonprofit organization, Community in Crisis Inc. where she is presently the CEO. She is available for speaking engagements on any topic related to marriage and family, as well as community disaster response. Deborah and her husband, Rick, reside near Raleigh, North Carolina. They have two adult children.